At the conclusion of Sunday's All-State 400 at the Brickyard, or the Brickyard 400, or NASCAR's Indy event, Tony Stewart, the race winner, said two words that will forever scar you and your child. I will put those exact words on this web site. I do it as a service to you, knowing the risks of the FCC's battle wand and greedy consumption of an over-reactionary ideologue, to prevent others from harm. Cover your children's eyes and do NOT EVER repeat these words. Ever. If you're apart of some advocacy group, then please direct your total obscenity laden anger towards my email address. I wouldn't want to generate more suffering and additional scars to a foot bloodied by too much broken glass.
Are the children deaf from this site? Did you put a password in Internet Explorer (seriously, get FireFox) to deny young and wondering eyes this site? Are you there, Mr. FCC? This website and NASCAR post race interviews are the only time you will EVER see/hear these two words.
Once we safely get through this, together, we can put this behind us. We can be assured that Lindsay Lohen will resume herself as the leading figure as a role model for young women. We can be rest assured that figures like Michael Vick can go back to being self-proclaimed dog whisperer.
The two words.
I can't believe I'm going to do this. Here we go.
There, you have it.
NASCAR Vice President, Jim Hunter, said:
"The drivers should clean up their language in my opinion," he said. "There are a lot of young kids who look up to these drivers. I'd prefer they use the English language."
I can think of two words the drivers are thinking right now.