Dealing with the Cricket Overlord

by Kirkendall on Aug 20, 2007 2:14 PM EDT in Training Camp

Last night, around my 1 a.m. bedtime, it sounded as if local crickets were making sounds towards the full moon. Problem is, there was no full moon. And the only cricket making sounds was inside my place under a massive dresser. There's a lot of things to drive a man mad. And laying in bed, hearing an over-audioization of chirping until 4 a.m., is one of them.

I live in a very old apartment complex that's creaky and holy. Not that kind of holy. There's holes underneath the foundation with cracks that reach up the base. So during summer, I see the occasional bug. Not many. But there is a roster. I'm terrified of spiders. Hated them since they've crawled up my leg in right field during those intense dandelion observations with the occasional baseball breaking the horizon during my T-ball years. But the roster is why I don't kill the spiders. They're natures' cleaning service. And business is good.

But there's also a myth. If you kill one spider, the others stay away. Almost like, "Yo, Frederick, I think I see Carlos five clicks away from the dishwasher." "Ah, man. That sucks, he owes me $9". I killed one about two weeks ago. So, if one believes in myths, I didn't have my maid service while the cricket from hell caused his reckless cricketing anarchy. It was a long process. At first, I thought he was outside near my window. The first reason I believed he was inside, is that I stood up and the chirping stopped. Like I would totally forget he was there. Of course, the cricket didn't note that I wasn't a predator looking for a meal. I was just one pissed off cranky bastard with a 7-iron. Eventually I triangulated the position and eliminated the anti-sleep Darth Cricket. Then a carriage of horses with a big bed and fluffy pillows took me off to the house of Sandman.

Second casualty

The second major Bengals casualty is Eric Henderson. Curnutte says there's a "chance he could be" placed on season-ending IR"

The bad news for the Bengals is promising linebacker Eric Henderson suffered a broken bone in his right wrist during the preseason game Saturday night and is out for a prolonged period of time. He underwent surgery.