Everything in Philadelphia is now mine, says the Cincinnati Bengals fan amused of what our little ol' team was able to accomplish -- chaos, disorder, challenged, confusion, suspicion, and paranoia. After being blown out by the Texans (the TEXANS?!) and having the score run up on them against Pittsburgh (we're hoping that a Bengals player will find these pages, print them up on a lockerroom wall for some added motivation), the Bengals said enough was enough. Instead of just defeating (and tying) teams, they purged the lands, plundering loot while putting huts to flame, and cattle destroyed by the golden fastball of Ryan Fitzpatrick's arm.

Excuses for why the Bengals won't win.

• Played a 75-minute football game on Sunday, only getting three days rest before Thursday night game.
• Two starting offensive linemen hurt.
• Only four likely receivers.
• Eric Ghiaciuc.

More, more, more

Thursday's Bengals / Steelers game could be competitive?

Frostee Rucker comes one foot short of a touchdown.

T.J. Houshmandzadeh is the hottest (most productive, you juveniles) player in the AFC North.

Any bets on which Bengals defensive player enacts payback after Hines Ward broke Keith Rivers' jaw in the last meeting?

Apparently Rototimes didn't know that tearing your plantar fasciitis means that you're almost recovered.

The defense is a bright spot.