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2008 NFL Draft Drinking Game.

The NFL Draft now starts at 3pm -- even though coverage began three months ago. We'll be here for the draft. Once things get rolling -- before 3pm, likely -- we'll post an open draft post and creating new posts for each draft pick. So the open draft, we'll just chat. Then with each pick, we'll praise, complain that pick. Sound good? Or would you rather have a single open forum and then we'll mess around with each pick in detail the following week. What works best for you guys?

Wanna play? With each major event, there's a customized drinking game. There's the Bleacher Report's game with the following rules.

  • Every time you hear the phrases “on the clock,” “war room” or “character issues”… drink!
  • Every time Chris Berman unveils a ridiculous nickname…drink!
  • Every time a Chris Berman nickname references a song that’s over 20 years old…drink twice!
  • Every time an ESPN analyst confuses Jake and Chris Long…drink!
  • Every time Emmitt Smith uses a word that isn’t actually a word…drink!
  • Every time someone you’re watching with wonders aloud whether or not Mel Kiper’s hair is real…drink!
  • Every time you hear the word “spygate”…drink!
  • Every time Jets or Eagles fans boo a pick…drink!
  • Every time ESPN shows footage of Jets or Eagles fans booing picks from previous drafts…drink twice!
  • If Jets or Eagles fans boo each other…do a shot!
  • Every time Chris Mortensen “breaks” a story…drink!
  • Every time the analysts point out that Eli Manning won the Super Bowl last year in a tone that indicates they’re having a hard time coming to terms with that fact…drink!
  • Every time they show an undrafted player sitting awkwardly in the green room, waiting to hear his name called…drink!
  • If the player has a family member or girlfriend by his side consoling him…drink twice!
  • If you’re not sure whether or not the consoling party is a family member or a girlfriend…do a shot!
  • If an analyst talks about the potential of Bengals WR Chad Johnson getting traded…drink!
  • If Chad Johnson actually gets traded…drink twice!
  • If your favorite team traded for Chad Johnson…do a shot! *NOTE: The “Chad Johnson” rules can also be applied to Brian Urlacher, Jeremy Shockey or Pacman Jones.
  • Every time someone mentions that Tom Brady was drafted in the sixth round…drink!
  • Every time you see a commercial starring Peyton Manning…drink!
  • Every time you see a commercial starring Peyton and Eli Manning…drink twice!
  • Every time you see a commercial starring the whole Manning family in it…do a shot!

I say we take the Bleacher Report's drinking game, maybe add some for our own, and then play. We'll be liquored up until Tuesday. Though, be careful. If you're drinking, make sure you spray down your front porch so Chris Henry doesn't accidentally come to your house thinking he's home. We claim no responsibility if wives observe and thoroughly beat down husbands for spraying the front porch in fear of the Chris Henry invasion.

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Is it okay if I smoke instead?

by IgnatiusJReilly on Apr 25, 2008 1:28 PM EDT reply reply   0 recs

RE:

Only if you create the game for everyone else.

Would puffs replace single drinks? Two puffs for double-drinks and a water bong hit for shots?

Blogger at CincyJungle.com

by Kirkendall on Apr 25, 2008 1:57 PM EDT reply reply   0 recs

Yes. Yes. And, yes. Plus, Chris Berman is actually funny when one’s, er, attitude is adjusted.

by IgnatiusJReilly on Apr 25, 2008 3:32 PM EDT reply reply   0 recs

On the bright side

I suppose the puff, puff game would be easier to accept if the team drafted Akili Smith again.

Blogger at CincyJungle.com

by Kirkendall on Apr 25, 2008 3:57 PM EDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

With the 9th pick in the 2008 NFL Draft...

The Cincinnati Bengals select…

...Chris Farley!

by IgnatiusJReilly on Apr 25, 2008 8:47 PM EDT reply reply   0 recs


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