What next, a Character Combine? Did you hear the tackle from Cal scored a 900 on the Most-Likely-To-Knock-Over-A-Gas-Station drill? And What’s-His-Face from Michigan did pretty well on the Won’t-Slap-His-Girlfriend-Around course.

I guess recent buzz about Bengals rookie defensive tackle Jason Shirley’s court case, and the pending (and repulsive) reinstatement of Pacman got me thinking— our beloved Bengals started all this. Yep, the boys in stripes, who brought an entirely new meaning to team “lineup,” and are the cause of It all.

Shaazam. Gomer, it’s Bengals Law.

Just as Jessica’s Law was passed in Florida to protect children from predators, similarly, Bengals Law was created in Ohio to protect the NFL’s brand image from criminal element called ‘players’. So, rather than being known as the birth place of the West Coast offense—or for the greatest left tackle in NFL history—we’re instead infamous for lawless, as well as winless, football teams.

Does winning at any cost really mean any cost? Literally any cost? Recent Bengals’ Draft years might suggest so. But that’s what happens when Organized Team Activities are replaced by Organized Crime Activities. I read other bloggers’ comments—hey, we shouldn’t expect players to be choir boys. I agree. But I think it’s a quantum leap from demanding choir boy status, to being accepting of drug users, women abusers, fire arms violators and general menaces to society.

But is the NFL at blame for products being sold by colleges? Are colleges at fault for products being sold by high schools? And so on, and so on.

Maybe all this character stuff is just a quality control issue? Look, General Motors buys brake products from a brake OEM (Original Equipment Manufacturer), right? And Dell buys computer processors from a processor OEMs. And the NFL, as a business, gets players from OEMs called families, communities, churches, schools and society in general. So, if the NFL is forced to purchase defective products, who’s to blame? Parents? Players? Teams? Society? Answers to these questions are way too deep and outside the scope of this blog post, but I don’t buy the notion this problem is caused by young people simply having too much money, too soon.

Yes, money can no doubt corrupt and distort a person’s reason. But too much moola doesn’t make a man beat his girlfriend, nor does it compel one to banish and point a loaded gun at others. And it certainly doesn’t justify a former Steelers’ LBs and 4 cohorts attacking a Bengals’ tackle in Las Vegas.

Sorry, that behavior somehow comes pre-programmed.  

The NFL is a very powerful global brand, and it does research. Lots and lots of brand research. Goodell’s mission to purge the bad guys is not of his own making—it’s been foisted upon the League by its own brand research results, which no doubt indicates fans don’t like rooting for, or paying to see, gangsters. So, Chris Henry was not only a plague on this team, he’s part of an enormous PR oil spill the NFL brand is now trying to clean up.  

Because Henry & Company are no different than tampered-with Tylenol bottles or massive auto recalls, the League has slowly moved into brand crisis gear, for which recent ‘good guy’ ads featuring Vince Young, Brady Quinn and Matt Hasselbeck are the painful result. In case you didn’t know, the NFL wants us to forget Jamal Lewis (cocaine trafficker), Ray Lewis (involved in, or has knowledge of, a double homicide) and  Pacman Jones and Henry (one-man crime sprees). The list goes on and on.  

Before the Bengals Gang Crime Wave hit, who’d ever heard of “character” being an NFL issue? But now the Drafting Good Character Guys industry is all about supply and demand—all things equal, teams would obviously prefer selecting the good guy over the bad guy. Duh, who wouldn’t? But are there enough good guys to go around? And is it easier (not mention wiser) to expend time and team resources excorercizing whatever demons occupy Henry and Thurman ... or smarter to, via better coaching, improving the skills of reliable, higher-character players (see blueprint for John Lynch)?

Take note NFL (and Bengals), today’s consumer wants it all—great performing cars with better gas mileage, too ... great tasting food that’s healthy, too ... a brighter, longer- burning light bulb that saves energy, too. And I think they want NFL teams that can post winning records, without loading up on players destine for prison records. 

Bottom line, the NFL, as a business, has to make some ‘human product’ improvements—but when a Chad Johnson, in defense of his many childish antics, makes statements such as, “hey, at least I don’t get arrested” ... well, it’s a signal this ain’t going to be easy. Nor will it be easy for this organization to shake the ‘Bengals Law’ identity.