Your 0-4 Cincinnati Bengals

Truly, the Bengals are a miserable team, among the bottom-five in the NFL. It's simple, really. The standings show the Bengals as 0-4, we're among the dwellers of major offensive categories, and once again, we're force to cheer for this junk. Passionate fans, we may be, but cheering for this team, is utter madness.

Offensively, we're pathetic; we can't run the ball, our center steps on our quarterback's toe, our quarterback loses fumbles and throws desperation interceptions. Though it was Ryan Fitzpatrick rather than Carson Palmer, you could nearly interchange the results with the personnel, especially when considering trends dating back to late last season.

I have no love for Bob Bratkowski and his static play-calling that's drawing predicated schemes from the opposing defense. At the same time, it doesn't matter your offensive coordinator when you have Levi Jones blocking swan-diving style, Eric Ghiaciuc stepping on the quarterback's toes, or another running back that tries to stretch the sidelines rather than slamming the gut, to pick up any yardage available.

I have no love for Marvin Lewis, who leads a bunch of uninspired players that's leaderless, pathetic and juvenile; almost to the point that you have to wonder, "why exactly am I fan?" As a team, the Bengals are sickly pathetic, lacking any professional pride (or just professionalism), grouped as accepted losers; expecting the fans to just do what they do best; sellout the stadium and purchasing Ocho Cinco jerseys.

I have no love for Mike Brown, who provides the atmosphere for all this, disabling the same tools that successful NFL teams employ; directly including the exodus by quality players that were, in large part, the reason for this team's 2005 success. And yes, I'm ready to call that season an aberration.

I have no love for Chad Johnson, who's either unable to get open, or hurting the team more by remaining on the field playing on a recently surgically repaired ankle and partially torn labrum. I have zero love for the completely helpless offensive line, unable to get a push, or protect our quarterbacks.

As I write this, the Chiefs won and the Rams are beating the Bills 14-6. If the Rams hold, the Bengals, Lions (bye week) and Texans (who lost by a field goal to the Jaguars) will be the only winless teams through the fourth week in the NFL season.

At this point, we're scanning the schedule and wondering when our first win will come. We've already scratched out the Cowboys, Jets, Steelers, Jaguars, Eagles, Steelers (again), Ravens (again), Colts, and Redskins. Perhaps we'll have a shot against the Texans, Browns and Chiefs, but who knows. Maybe we'll accidentally win a game we shouldn't; that's always a Christmas present.

Then again, maybe we'll go winless for the season. Based on the (lack thereof) professional pride this team shows, the leaderless qualities ranging from the head coach to the players, and with the man at the helm that's historically one of the worst professional sports owners of all time, it wouldn't surprise me.

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