The Raiders are the Really Hot Chick from Species
by drj112379 on Nov 18, 2009 8:18 PM EST
Email
Print
The Bengals’ next three games against the Raiders, Browns, and Lions are the Femme Fatale portion of the Bengals schedule. They’re the deceptively attractive females in action movies. I think this portion of the schedule could compare to the movie Species. In Species, you had this super hot woman played by Natasha Henstridge. All the characters think she’s hot, and one guy even gets seduced by her. The next thing he knows, she gets pregnant, and she devours him. How much does that suck? Not only does he inadvertently knock up some one-night stand chick, but she ends up being an alien and killing him. Of course, if you had to choose between Natasha Henstridge’s alien character vs. Rosie O’Donnell… well, you’d start writing your will and hope the death is quick (wait, which one did I choose? That could apply to either situation…)
Wait, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, the Oakland Raiders, et al., are the Natasha Henstridge of football. They look attractive… but then BAM! they get pregnant and eat you alive. Or just beat you in football… I’m losing my grip on reality, folks. Sorry. (What’s the lesson here? NEVER TRUST WOMEN (except for your mom and possibly the woman you married – especially if she’s a lawyer and can sue you for looking at her funny (I’m joking!!!)))
This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Cincy Jungle's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Cincy Jungle's writers or editors.
4 comments
|
0 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
seek help
…and by the way, the Raiders are a last call ugly girl you hope your buddies don’t catch you with.
Man, I think you have some issues with women!
You must be getting a divorce, break up, or something. I say don’t trust them either. Use them for all they are worth, but they can be helpful in a lot of different ways! Just like the Raiders. Beat them and the win will contribute towards the Playoffs! LOL I’m not saying beat women, unless there is pleasure from each.
You could play down to the level of competition
at least once in the next three games but you should still get a win.
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Certain photos copyright © 2012 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
