Top 10 Facts About Chad That He’s Saving For The Sequel.

by Timzilla on Nov 2, 2009 11:36 AM EST Comment 46 comments

We recently saw the Top 10 Things Chad divulges in his stupid, new book. Well, here are the Top 10 Facts About Chad That He’s Saving For The Sequel.

10. He only dates women named Meme. Or Chad.

9. He once went on a date with himself ... and had a really, really good time. I mean like, it was so cool ... he told himself all about himself, and he really, really listened.

8. He enjoyed telling TJ’s ponytail to respect his “athor-a-tah”.

7. He spent all the money he stole from the team in 2008 for the courage to finally go over the middle.

6. Before love making, he routinely peeks down his pants for a quick plea of, “Child, please?”

5. He knows there’s probably some dumb law against it, but he still plans to pursue himself in marriage, legally.

4. Hard Knocks viewers know he’s clueless about banks; but they don’t know he’s also confused by clothes hangers, holes in donuts, shoestrings, the number “7” ... and why babies are so damned freakishly small.

3. In the hot tub, he and Hushmanzatah would constantly argue over who had the best hands (hmmmm, why do you think TJ left town so fast?)

2. Before death, he intends to implant his own memories into a clone of himself, just to keep alive all those super cool thoughts about him, Chad.

1. He swears “Osi Umenyiora” is French for 85.

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haha

"Ghiaciuc's play was a distraction"

by firstPick on Nov 2, 2009 2:53 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

Havent heard to much Ocho hate from ya lately Tim!!

maybe because Ocho Cinco has been in Pro Bowl form, just the way I like it. You know you was jumping up and down screaming gooooo Ocho when he scores TD’s!! As far as TJ Whoyablockin goes, if you watched his game yesterday, you would be glad he is gone!!! what a cancer

CB85......Collaros for Heisman

by TennBengalfan on Nov 2, 2009 3:19 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

Sure, I root for him ...

as long as he’s in a Bengals’ uniform … but look forward to the day Mr. Me Me Me Me is finally gone for good. I was never a big fan of TJ, either. I agree, he was a cancer … and worse, a crybaby. Damn, he cried on every play.

by Timzilla on Nov 2, 2009 5:30 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Yea TJ Blows

I think that was what was wrong with OCHO, just think about it, TJ leaves and then OCHO is more of a team player. I dont think it is a cooincidence.

CB85......Collaros for Heisman

by TennBengalfan on Nov 3, 2009 6:02 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

You are correct, sir ...

TJYourMomma blows.

by Timzilla on Nov 3, 2009 6:14 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

I admit

That I didn’t find any of those things comical.

by WhoDeyDerek on Nov 2, 2009 5:18 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

just remember Tim,

that Chad is different than other players just like Carson, Peko, Williams, Benson, Smith and all of the rest of the players on the team are different from each other. I know you can’t stand Chad , but keep in mind that he is still a good player. Wishing him gone will only hurt the team if he happened to go. Chad is allowed to have his personality and is allowed to express it any way he wants to, if he doesn’t hurt anybody. Just like you are allowed to wright this idiotic (but comical) post. Seems like you like attention too!!

by WHYUS!! on Nov 2, 2009 6:36 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

You make a good point, WHYUS!! ...

Yes, Chad is an extremely talented player. I have never said otherwise. And yes, I think you’re right … if he weren’t on the team right now it would impact their offense, and the team as a whole. But as I get older (damn) the quality of the person matters more and more to me, even on my favorite football team. My issues with Chad are not his personality … it’s his years and years of power selfishness, and at times total disregard for the team.

by Timzilla on Nov 2, 2009 6:53 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Chad is not only a great football player, he is a marketing genius.. it will be a sad sad day when he retires.

by 80%OFTHETIMEIMRIGHTEVERYTIME on Nov 3, 2009 8:31 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

I won't even dignify ...

your “genius” reference with a response. But regarding the “marketing” … well marketing is meaningless unless there’s real money to be won. Tell me how Chad’s pathological, selfish and childish antics have translated into meaningful dollars? Okay, 75 morons will buy his stupid book … which won’t even cover 1/100th of his cost to the ghost writer. Payton Manning is a marketing genius. Tiger Woods is a marketing genius. Michael Jordon was a marketing genius. Chad is a cheap, dime store celebrity who once his playing days are over will disappear from the media landscape. Thankfully.

by Timzilla on Nov 3, 2009 8:50 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs

so much for your prohibition of Chad hating. Yeah, you’ve got a right to voice your opinion, but I just wish that you did it somewhere that wasn’t a Bengals fan website. I’m sure you’d find a lot of agreement on the Steeler’s page.

This is our year!

by Carsonorbust on Nov 3, 2009 9:38 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs

I'm a ...

huge Bengals fan, so why would I go to a Steelers site? Six months ago a lot (if not most) people here agreed with me … lots and lots of Chad bashing … check out the archives from back then. Ya know, if my posts bother you … simple, don’t read them. That’s the beauty of blogs.

by Timzilla on Nov 3, 2009 9:53 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Do you think if the Bengals went to or Won the Super Bowl

He would have a chance to be a marketing giant like Peyton Manning or Tiger Woods? Success breeds popularity, and that is why Chad has flown under the radar in the mainstream. He’s well known in NFL circles, but since the Bengals have been so bad he doesn’t get the attention he deserves. Take Larry Fitzgerald as an example, great receiver unknown outside of football really, suddenly he’s in the Super Bowl making huge plays and the next year he’s on the Madden cover and now is arguably the most popular receiver in the NFL. Chad might do too much self promotion, but who can blame him he’s been the best statistical receiver in the league for years and wouldn’t get any attention if he didn’t pull these antics which are all in good fun anyway.

by St. Esiason on Nov 3, 2009 1:17 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Great points.

I agree if the Bengals would get to, or win, multiple Super Bowls there might be a low-end brand out there willing to take a chance on him. Might. Maybe. But since brand strategy is what I do for a living, and helping companies make (hopefully) good marketing decisions that are on-strategy with their brand, I can tell you there’s probably few brands who’d willingly agree to be associated with a player giving the finger on his book cover … that, plus his selfish persona, and horrible 2008 behavior probably killed any chances of landing a legit endorsement deal. A low-end, raunchy brand, maybe, like a GoDaddy or condom brand, maybe … but never a prestigious, mainstream brand, even if they won 10 Super Bowls.

by Timzilla on Nov 3, 2009 5:47 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

He'll probably get a job with ESPN

by featherman on Nov 3, 2009 6:03 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

they're kinda raunchy

by featherman on Nov 3, 2009 6:04 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Do you really thinks so?

Can Chad ever be normal enough to do that? When I’ve seen him do guest appearances on those shows he seems like a way out of place. I could see him MC’ing wet t-shirt contests … but not saying smart, coherent stuff on The NFL Today.

by Timzilla on Nov 3, 2009 6:13 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

yea he can if Keyshawn Johnson and Deon Sanders can do it!!!

By the way, Mike Ditka is acting as normally as he can too!!!

by WHYUS!! on Nov 3, 2009 8:14 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

I forgot to mention Sharp too!!

Now that a Pro cast!!!! With Chad.

by WHYUS!! on Nov 3, 2009 8:16 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Im not posting another debbie downer skit for you..

but dude, you might need to see somebody about this whole ’I hate Chad" thing.. did he sleep with your wife or something? Geez, I dislike some of our players but its almost funny how mad he makes you..
check your blood pressure.

by 80%OFTHETIMEIMRIGHTEVERYTIME on Nov 3, 2009 8:40 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

post another debbie skit for Tim.

please!!!! just for Tim!!!!

by WHYUS!! on Nov 3, 2009 10:19 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

I've noticed ...

you have a hard time defending your point s without making personal attack kinds of comments. That usually an Intelligence issue, or lack of maturity. In your case, both?

by Timzilla on Nov 4, 2009 9:11 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs

and your personal attack on Chad isn't a maturity issue?

You continually attack Chad on a Bengals site. For all to read. Wasn’t this post immature along with all of the other things you have wrote about Chad! Some of us were frustrated with Chad last year, Yeah, but the past is the past and the mature thing to do is to move forward and stop bashing Bengal players.

by WHYUS!! on Nov 4, 2009 9:28 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Cool your jets ...

young Jedi. That post wasn’t directed to you.

by Timzilla on Nov 4, 2009 9:56 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs

cool your jets..

how did I personally attack you? If anything I ‘attacked’ your wife, who I believe we have talked about before as far as she dictates your weekend and what you do..
you can sense your intense anger for Chad through your words, Im just suggesting maybe some counseling before your head explodes..

the ‘did he sleep with your wife’ comment was more of a funny question because you get so angry when you talk about Chad.. I cant believe I even have to explain this..

by 80%OFTHETIMEIMRIGHTEVERYTIME on Nov 4, 2009 1:39 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

I hope you ...

you don’t bring people’s family members to real time discussions, like at your high school proms … cuz there you’re not protected by the Internet.

by Timzilla on Nov 4, 2009 3:24 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

dont you think you’re taking this a little too literally?

by 80%OFTHETIMEIMRIGHTEVERYTIME on Nov 4, 2009 5:36 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

exhibit a: emmitt smith. espn will hire anybody.

i'm going to go america all over your ass!

by Raging Clue on Nov 5, 2009 7:34 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

he already had the low-end deal with degree, and i think he’s got some other smaller endorsements. win the super bowl and he’ll be as ubiquitous as peyton manning is currently, simply because marketing types like the big personalities, and he plays into their hands if for no other reason than his pure shamelessness.

i'm going to go america all over your ass!

by Raging Clue on Nov 5, 2009 7:35 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

I think the majority of Bengals fans dont care what Chad does as long as he produces

The ones who get caught up in Chad’s extracurricular activities are haters or outsiders.

by WhoDeyDerek on Nov 3, 2009 3:39 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

Sadly I agree that ...

most fans just don’t care what he does, as long as he produces. You’re right. But why should the ones that do care be labeled haters and outsiders?

by Timzilla on Nov 3, 2009 5:53 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Because there's no reason one should care what he does as long as we're winning...

And as long as he is abiding by the law and rules set forth by the team. Can you give me a good reason why one should care otherwise?

by WhoDeyDerek on Nov 3, 2009 6:18 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Yeah , for starters I can give you 365 ...

good reasons. Everyday of 2008. He admittedly tanked the season … didn’t try … didn’t train … didn’t talk to team official, or teammates … but talked to the talk shows where he trashed the team, city and organization. When time’s got tough and they wouldn’t re-negotiate his contract, he quit. But I think he took the money.

by Timzilla on Nov 4, 2009 9:00 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs

yea..

man his extracurricular activities are just terrible.. remember this past off season there were a lot of stories in the news about NFL players shooting themselves in the leg or driving while drunk and straight up running dudes over.

Meanwhile Chad is on Twitter, he promotes his book, he makes appearances on ESPN shows, and occasionally he busts out a TD celebration. The man is paid to entertain.. I think many would agree he is very good at his job.

by 80%OFTHETIMEIMRIGHTEVERYTIME on Nov 3, 2009 8:48 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Did Chad kill a guy in a DWI accident?

Or was that Donte Stallworth and Leonard Little?

by St. Esiason on Nov 4, 2009 9:34 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

and to sum it up,

Chad is a great citizen, a great player, a great self promoter, and a great Bengal promoter, just like Carson is. The only difference is Chad makes it known (publicly) that he loves himself. NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!!!!! By the way, before you say anything about Chad as a player. He needs 522 more yards to reach 10,000. That is a great player isn’t it?

by WHYUS!! on Nov 4, 2009 7:23 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

For Timzilla..

After another of your wonderful fanposts and along with your compelling arguments that dwell in the realm of 2008, I have to post this.. tried smiling lately?

http://www.hulu.com/watch/19280/saturday-night-live-debbie-downer-birthday-party

I imagine you are quite like this..

by 80%OFTHETIMEIMRIGHTEVERYTIME on Nov 4, 2009 1:52 PM EST reply actions 0 recs