Oddbounces.com News Service - On the heels of a disgraced Tiger Woods saying he’ll leave the PGA Tour, the Cincinnati Bengals passing game has announced its leaving the NFL.
Obviously embarrassed by recent revelations of multiple indiscretions at a local Motel 6, the Bengals passing game at first denied it was knocked unconscious (with a 2-iron barbell) after backing its SUV into a tackling dummy.
To date, 50 (same as the team’s passing YPG) women have come forward, admitting to sexual encounters with the once-proud Bengals passing game. When pressed by hordes of swarming media, The Bengals Chad Ochocinco came clean.
“It’s true, we’re a sex addict,” said the renegade wide receiver of the team's crippled passing game. “Why do you think I do all that Twittering.”
The Bengals’ defense has apparently known for weeks, maybe months. Linebacker Keith Rivers said, “Everybody knows sex addicts can’t pass.” Second-year defensive tackle Pat Sims added, “We got suspicious during film reviews. Their ‘offensive’ films had really strange soundtracks, and they’d stay locked in stalls for hours. It’s sad.”
Newport’s Debbie Dallas told Oddbounces.com she ended her 4-year affair with the Bengals passing game. “Sure, that passing game was a sexy stud-muffin for awhile, wearing those really tight jeans and Donna Karan silk shirts. But it ended when they stopped going deep. A little shorty passing game doesn’t do it for me.”
The Bengals passing game refused comment.