When are the Bengals ever a sexy story? Chad Johnson's return; I mean, really, return. Chris Henry morphing into this completely new character we've never seen before. I have a lot of anxiety to see what Bernard Scott can do. Rashad Jeanty vs. Rey Maualuga. Carson Palmer returning, claiming to be as strong as he's been before his accidental injury during the Wild Card game. Maybe never. It's always best to be the underdogs, right? Logically, justifiably and realistically so, people won't give the Bengals much because they've earned less. Even fans from other sites have a hard time coming onboard, blindly, to the quickened pulse of a possibly reviving football team. I'll even submit to those with a mightier than the sword response, when six months from now they'll be like "I didn't fall for it. They were going to suck. I knew." Good forecast. Enjoy next season.

Maybe sexy is only as good as the smooth silky leg of the body it's attached to. Segue (horribly) to Peter King, who in his Monday Morning Quarterback mentioned the Bengals in back-to-back spots in his Ten Things I Think I Think:

5. I think the Bengals, as woebegone as they've been, can be models for something: doing what they said they'd do. Over and over in the past two years, owner Mike Brown and coach Marvin Lewis have said Chad Ochocinco wouldn't be traded. And though I think they erred in not taking the reported offer of two first-rounders from Washington for Johnson in 2008, they kept their word. No trade. At one point last summer, Lewis said to me, "Why won't these reports stop? I'm telling you -- we're not trading Chad.'' I bring this up only because we've got the Denver Broncos having dumped their best player, Jay Cutler, because he was miserable and obstinate and not buying into Josh McDaniels' program. And now we've got Brandon Marshall who wants out, and apparently he's found a sympathetic ear in owner Pat Bowlen. The Broncos need to take a long view of this instead of the short view. The short view is, "Let's get rid of this unhappy jerk.'' The long view is, "This guy's a great player, he's a handful, but if we trade him, we're handing everyone else in the locker room a blueprint for how to shoot his way out of town. Plus, we won't get real value for him.'' I can't believe I just told the Denver Broncos to study the Bengals. Frightening.

6. I think Laveranues Coles might be the perfect receiver to replace T.J. Houshmandzadeh in Cincinnati, because Coles, who hates to talk to the press, is glad to cede all the interviews to Chad Ochocinco while he just plays. Coles is healthy now. If Carson Palmer can stay upright, Coles is going to catch 70 balls, easy.

(h/t Who Dey Fans)