Rey "the____________" Maualuga

OK since I have seen this theme recently I guess I need to let people know something the is very important. There are unwritten rules regarding nicknames. It is very bad karma to give someone a nickname arbitrarily. The best recent example I can think of is that after Votto played 40+ games at an all-star level a talk show host said he deserved a nickname and solicited them from the listeners who came up with a list of rather marginal suggestions. AutoVotto. Vottomatic. etc, etc. Well the very next week he developed and inner ear infection, came back a,d buckles under stress. IT IS VERY BAD LUCK TO TALK NICKNAMES FOR PRO OR EVEN AMATURE ATHLETES!!! People once decided to give Joe Montana a nickname – it was “Big Sky”. The next week he strained his elbow and missed 3 weeks.

Nicknames are only positive when they come thru the natural order of things. IT usually comes from family. friends, coaches ot team mates. Occasionally on may evolve from a comment on their play from a broadcaster. Some times it comes from a player like Boomer Esiason whose first name, Norman, just didn’t suit his personality. It needs to come from someone with a personal connection and just evolve. Maybe it isn’t too late – just stop it now and don’t ever do it again!!

Rey has the personality and hopefully enough impact that if a nickname is in order it will just evolve. If you want him to have a great career do not try to give him one. OMG I hope it isn’t too late.

Magics name was not arbitrary. His play was viewed as magic, the sports writer gave it to him and it stuck – exactly as it should have been. Carsonorbust, if this is the kind of logic is what I can expect, well, you will be a great sportswriter. Most of them spend much time trying to defend an indefensible position because they can’t admit they are wrong. Magic Johnson is a prime example of the right way to form a nickname. To put your head in the sand and ignore the two accurate and prime examples of my point and try to pass off this lame and incorrect example should put you on PTI tomorrow. Looks like you just may be the next Peter King – clueless. Elevate your rhetoric and learn some humility. You can’t say 1 + 1 = 3 and expect it to be believed just because you claim to be an aspiring sportswriter. FYI it take more than that. Anyone who continues to do what has been shown to be a bad thing thru concrete examples is is just head in the sand stupid. Then again that is common among the plethora of bad sportswriters.

Upstate, if you knew me, you would as my lifelong friends do, think I’m a pretty fun guy to be around. I was the class clown. Over the years I have made gallons of milk come out of peoples noses. I think one guy passed an entire cheese sandwich thru his nostrils. Personally I would rather have fun watching Rey play stellar LB without being jinxed into oblivion but an aspiring sportswriter who can’t think of anything else to talk about in such a target rich environment. There are lots of interesting Bengal topics to choose from and a talented writer can find ways to entertain other than this.

Guys, Yea I see your point and it is well taken. Believe me – I’m all about having fun and maybe it’s just me lets face it things are going too good. Except for the specter of Andre Smith probably holding out thru training camp everything is looking too good. I guess it goes back to my days in the bush in Vietnam. When things look too good I have learned to be extra cautious. Just when we relaxed a bit the shit hit the fan. Am I the only one who is waiting for the other shoe to drop? Chad is back ready to play with enthusiasm, Carson is pumped, Henry is being a good citizen, Odom put on 30 lbs. of muscle and bettered his 40 time, Rey is here, Cook looks better than we thought, we got Roy Williams and Tank, we had a lights out draft and nobody has a serious injury going into training camp. What we do not need is anything that even resembles bad karma.

Carsonorbust, upon reading my post maybe I came down on you a bit hard and I apologize. If you want to be a sportswriter you are not going to get there if everyone blows smoke up your butt. I’m rooting for you. This is your training camp. Dig up new angles with a different take. There must be be dozens of overlooked insights. It is your job to dig for them and put a story out there that makes us think " man I never looked at it that way". Yea, I’m a bit superstitious. I admit it. In sports nicknames are serious stuff. Do what you like – I’m just saying…