5 reasons to be a Bengals fan

Let me tell you why I love being a Bengals fan despite all the crap and bad luck that seems to happen to us every year.

1.  Every little victory feels like a huge accomplishment.  For instance, if Ced Benson runs for 5 yards instead of 3 it's like we just won the lottery.  I would compare being a Bengals fan to a little kid who has never had more than $5 in his pocket at the same time.  If somebody gives that kid a dollar then, the whole world turns upside down.  Of course that kid might immediately go and squander that dollar on some appealing candy, but it was sure exciting while it lasted.  True, he wasn't the rich steelers kid down the street, but I bet he appreciated that dollar a lot more than him.

2.  To quote Shrek, as Bengals fans, we are a lot like onions in that we have layers.  On the one hand, being a Bengals fan makes your cry a lot (how can you not cry after losing on a tipped pass) and it causes your speech to reek of bitterness.  But, on the other hand the heat of losing so often causes Bengals fans to turn into eternal optimists, (like how sauteing onions brings out the sweetness and flavor (sorry, that was a bit of a stretch) .  Yes it's true, despite all of you who grumble saying "this is the year that I'm going to stop being a Bengals fan," we know the truth is that every time the Bengals get in the end zone it makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside.

3.  Great Conversation Starter if you live out of state like I do.  Bengals Fan: "I'm a big fan of the Bengals.  Did you hear about the game last night?*" Football Enthusiast "Isn't that the team that had Carson Palmer a few years ago?" BF "Yeah, he's still on the team...I thought you knew a lot about football" FE "yeah, I do, but I kinda forgot they were still a football team."  BF "Well let me tell you why they are going to win the Super Bowl this year."  FE (Kind laughter).

*Note, this is not a good technique for pick up lines.  In fact, you might want to avoid the subject altogether or they might find you distasteful.

4.  We suit up* - Unlike all the hordes of solid colors and unoriginal jerseys, the Bengals week in - week out dawn the stripes.  As the true king of the jungle, we don't worry about blending into our surroundings - we don't do Camo.   We don't give up, we don't listen to fashion zealots tell us that "black and orange stripes don't go well with brown pants."  No my friends, we suit up.

*Special thanks to Barney

5.  We rise above and grab hold of life. That doesn't really mean much, but it is provocative isn't it?  Do we sit around and sulk after we lose a game? No.  Do we put on a brave face when we see our relatives who live in Pitsburg? Yes.  Do we pull awesome shinanigans like flyby banners protesting our team owner and sending pepto bismo to the Browns?  Yes. 

My friends, I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Who Dey for Life!