Hey Lance, You Take Extenze, I Get Old Spice

by Timzilla on Sep 27, 2009 6:15 AM EDT Comment 15 comments

I’ll be honest, these days I’m not the most ravenous of sports media consumers. I find today’s sports blab-o-trons either too painfully and arrogantly uppity (are you listening every ESPN anchor trying to be flippantly funny, or devising the next cool catch phrase to land a TV commercial) ... ... or just too stupid (are you listening the person, or persons, who knowingly and willingly employed someone as intellectually sacked as Warren Sapp) ... any industry hiring that box of rocks (no disrespect intended to boxes or rocks) deserves some kind of swift and heavy-fisted Obama regulatory sanction.

Where’s a Sports Commentator Czar when ya need one!

So I have to be honest, I don’t know a lot about Lance McAlister. Don’t know what he looks like, or sounds like. Hey, maybe he’s “as cool as the other side of the pillow.” Or maybe he rivals Sapp in incoherent, marbles-in-the-mouth, 4-word sentences. Nope, I don’t know Lance McAlister ... don’t know how far up or down the egghead scale he measures. But I do know there was too much wrong with his ‘Ben v. Carson’ comparison to address here.

So allow me to reply to a couple of points:

McAlister says if he’s choosing sides in the backyard today, he'll take Ben ... I get Carson ... and he'll beat me. Hmmmm. Okay, well, does the League’s No. 1 defense come with Ben? How about Pittsburgh’s perennial top-5 run offense? ... do you get that, and I get Cincy’s yearly bottom-third D? And doesn’t Pittsburgh have a 30-year formula for winning ... does McAlister get all that, too? And with Carson, do I get idiot WRs ChadTard and TJ YoYourMomma not participating in OTAs, or the pre-season.

Lance, yeah, you get Ben, but can I have the Rooney family? ... and you get Mikey. Oh, and what about coaches? The list goes on and on ... and on and one. Etc.

Also, apparently, McAlister is “tired of excuses being made for Carson. It's the OL ... it's the running game ... blah, blah, blah. Anyone check out how many times Ben has been sacked last three years? 139 times (46,47,46). Most in the NFL.” While I could produce 10 blog posts on how this comment doesn’t wash, I’ll refrain. Suffice it to say that Roethlisberger and Palmer are very, very different QBs.

Ben is the big, fat Shreky slob of a QB living in a used double-wide. He functions best when the place is knee-deep in beer cans and empty jars of bean dip and cheese whiz. And Ben's place smells like cat urine. That’s how The Beergut rolls.

Palmer’s the perfectionist, preferring a tidier abode ... the prototypical clean pocket passer. Lance, because Beergut Ben is better at scrambling around in chaos doesn’t make him a better QB—it just makes him better at throwing threw beer cans. Okay, let’s leave it like this, Lance, my Jedi instincts tell me the gaps have narrowed between what Palmer and Beergut have around them. If that’s the case, let’s revisit this issue in early January.

In the meantime, you take Extenze and I’ll stick with Old Spice ... I’ll beat you every time.

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I agree they are very dif QB's

Ben has shown he is clutch, maybe even more so than Tom Brady and he does very well under pressure. He is one of the hardest QB’s in the league to get down, if you miss he is most likely gonna make you pay by completing a huge reception down the field..

Carson has (had?) a huge rocket arm with amazing precision and accuracy, if you are from Pittsburgh and are doubting this just watch the pro bowl tapes. He’s ridankulous! But if you make him move its gonna be a sack or a throw away, or maybe if he does get the ball out, his throws on the move just are not that good. He does have a good head on his shoulders and can recognize blitzes very well, which I might put him winning that against Ben, Carson just seems smarter.

Best part of the post was the last sentence. These two guys just play on two very different teams and and two very different QB’s..

by 80%OFTHETIMEIMRIGHTEVERYTIME on Sep 27, 2009 11:11 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Yeah I agree ,,,

Beergut is better scrambling around, avoiding tackles. That, and leveraging the League’s best defense year in and year out, are his strengths. But if it’s apples to apples, oranges to oranges, I’d take Palmer. Difference is, Beergut has had (maybe still has?) advantages Palmer hasn’t. 2005 is probably the best year for a true comparison of the two.

by Timzilla on Sep 27, 2009 2:26 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

God I hope

Carson has a pro bowl season and Lance can be reminded of his BS

by featherman on Sep 27, 2009 11:51 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

for what it's worth

all he was saying was Carson needs to be a better leader towards his fellow teammates! No I wouldn’t trade Carson for WORTHLESSBERGER. But Carson needs to Man up and stick up for his teammates first, then stick up for other players IF NEED BE. "Though that hit on Rivers was a cheap shot." I’ve notice when an injury happens, Carson is the first one to downplay the situation and give the opposing player the benefit of doubt, saying things like, he didn’t mean to do that. Is Carson that gullible or is he just being a good guy that doesn’t want to stir the pot? I know some players that have played in the NFL and they all have told me it’s a vicious game and some players intentionally try to hurt.

by WHYUS!! on Sep 26, 2009 2:17 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

by WHYUS!! on Sep 28, 2009 12:25 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

You have got to be ,,,

friggin kidding me. First of all, Palmer does not stick up for other players over his teammates. If so, give me examples of that. That’s absurd. Second of all, that’s not “all he was saying” about Palmer. Re-read the article.

by Timzilla on Sep 28, 2009 4:48 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

did't he say

that the hit on Rivers was NOT a cheap shot. Yea!!!! He did, and when ever somebody gets hurt he always says it’s football. Well, yea it’s football, even when it’s a cheap shot. His comments on the Rivers hit didn’t exactly sound like he was sticking up for his teammate. Another example is when he gets hurt. He needs to more of a leader and light a fire under these guys and get them to do their job. I watch all of the great QBs and they have a fire burning within them and they get the team going. (Tom Brady, Joe Montana, Dan Marino, John Elway, Brett Favre, Johnny Unitas, Payton Manning, Boomer Esiason, Terry Bradshaw) should I go on? Carson has all of the skills to be in that tier of Elite QB’s, but I want to see that spunk!!!!!!! That fire that I see in a great QB!!!!!!!! Just LISTEN TO Drew Brees, Tom Brady, and Payton Manning talk and see if there is a difference to you. It’s all about their team and teammates especially when someone gets hurt on their team. They never down play the situation.That is part of being a leader and winning games, which Ben Worthlessberger does. EXCEPT YESTERDAY!!!!!!! And hopefully this win will do that for him. I’m Sorry, but I want to see that fire every game and after every game, especially when someone gets hurt from cheap shots. And i’m sure his teammates want that too!!!!!

by WHYUS!! on Sep 28, 2009 10:26 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Well, "fire" and not ...

sticking up for teammates are 2 different things. What did you want Palmer to say a whole year after the Ward hit on Rivers? What good comes by publicly calling it a dirty play now to the Pittsburgh media (that’s who asked him the question)? There were a lot of Bengals players who didn’t bite on that from the media, not just Palmer. Buy not taking the media’s bait, he was smart. And the “spunk” and “fire” thing is meaningless if the team doesn’t win. Blake had spunk and fire … Akili Smith had spunk and fire … Kitna had spunk and fire … how’d all that work out for us? And didn’t spunk-less and fire-less Eli Manning win a Super Bowl lately? Regardless, the thesis of Lance McAlister’s article was Ben is better than Carson. I disagreed.

by Timzilla on Sep 28, 2009 10:47 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

True!!!!!

But because of Ben’s spunk and leadership. That makes Ben a little better and for Kitna, Akili Smith and Blake, they aren’t as talented as Carson or Ben. AGREED!!!! Eli Manning has that quality but is still learning. Will he get to where his brother is? Don’t know, but as for biting on the media, Carson’s answers can be a little more up lifting for or towards his teammates. Or maybe he’s just not a public speaker. Which I doubt. Also if you remember Kitna, with his spunk, got us somewhat over the hump with some really bad players behind him. Also with Detroit. You need to have both spunk and talent to be a great QB. By the way, I saw that in Carson yesterday!!!!!!! Lance did say that he would pick Ben because he was the better QB. Just because Ben is able to do the right things to win football games. Leadership and fire that is how I understood it.

by WHYUS!! on Sep 28, 2009 11:33 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Okay, you take ...

spunk and fire, and I’ll take QB talent, team-wide talent, great coaching and ownership and a winning culture (as Ben has had for 5 years; not Palmer) … and I bet I beat you every time.

by Timzilla on Sep 28, 2009 11:58 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Exactly what I was saying

Put Carson on the STEaLERS and they probably would be considered as a dynasty. They would probably have way more SB wins. Carson would learn to be a leader a lot faster because of the environment that surrounds him, as he did at the college level. Put Jon Kitna with the STEaLERS and he would win too. Well, maybe not a SB. It’s up to the leaders on this team to get us there and Carson, with his great talent and put spunk with it, needs to do what he did yesterday. Take charge and follow me fellas. And maybe, just maybe, we can change the culture of this team. AND Fu@# MB!!!!!!

by WHYUS!! on Sep 28, 2009 12:31 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

If you're waiting for ...

Palmer to jump around and scream and holler and be all spunky, it ain’t gonna happen. Ain’t his style. Palmer is more the Bob Griese, Roger Starbaugh, Troy Aikman type (HOF’ers) … Palmer leads by example, and by staying calm under fire. Keep in mind, there are lots of great (HOF) QBs who didn’t spunk, but won SBs … and lots of spunky QB who didn’t win squat.

by Timzilla on Sep 28, 2009 12:47 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I know that

Carson is not going to yell and holler. Which he didn’t yesterday. But he took command of his team in his own spunky way, like Aikman and Starbaugh, they had a since of taking control and everybody following them . They always never downplayed situations and used that situation to get their team fired up. In an unique way. When talking to the media, Aikman would’ve never said that wasn’t a cheap shot. He would’ve probably said, it is what it is and we have to move on!!!! Or something to that nature. He wouldn’t make it sound like he was sticking up for WHINES HARD!!!!! There are a lot of fans that thought he was defending WHINES HARD. Carson probably made a mistake saying what he said but it wasn’t the only time. I’ll forgive him,as I’m sure his teammates have!!!!!! Just remember, players aren’t supposed to talk about these things to the media.Unless he really feels that it wasn’t a dirty cheap shot. He just needs better choice of words to help his teammates. LEAD BY EXAMPLE as the other elite QB’s you were talking about. This is only one example, there are more if you follow his press conferences.

by WHYUS!! on Sep 28, 2009 1:33 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

By the way

this is only constructive criticism given by a die hard fan. Without it, this wouldn’t be fun and the excitement of football wouldn’t be same.

by WHYUS!! on Sep 28, 2009 1:47 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

You don't know ...

what Aikman would have said … I don’t either. But I seriously doubt he would have on the eve of a big divisional game got into a media shouting match with Hines Ward about a year-old event. No QB would. You’re selling short Palmer’s command of this team, and his leadership position. He has all the leadership skills needed to win championships.

by Timzilla on Sep 28, 2009 1:57 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Your right

I said what Aikman probably would’ve said. I have a hunch that he would’ve never said what Carson said. But don’t know that. All I am saying is what you are saying. He has that leadership quality, it showed in college. He just has to work harder at Leading because of this organization and MB. Ben Worthlessberger doesn’t have to work as hard to lead his team. Leadership is in place, starting with the owner. Ben fell right into a pile of roses and Carson fell into a pile of shi@, and has to do extra to make smell like a rose!!!!!!

by WHYUS!! on Sep 28, 2009 2:12 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs