If Things Continue This Way...

First off, wouldn't that just be super? If we continued our offensive identity crisis and our defense continued being a schizophrenic, week to weak (intentional misspelling) beast? A big, scary Bengal one week and a tiny kitten the next? And Bob Wipe-My-Buttkowski continued to ignore the fact that we have CEDRIC FREAKING BENSON? And that our O-Line is built for pound-it-out football? God don't all these things seem so desirable to have to continue to happen?

Now, I don't think we'll be competing for a high first round pick or anything. I think this is a team still capable of 6-8 wins. But with all that preseason hype... It's just frustrating that we're not 4-1 or 5-0 like so many of us thought we would be (I figured at this point only New England would have beaten us). But if the above trends continue... we have some changes to make.

If I were Mike Brown, I would continue to bring in players with some potential without spending too much money, of course letting some of our best players go in free agency, but keeping just enough of them to keep the fans vaguely interested. Shooting for an 8-8/ 9-7 record should about suffice to win about that amount of games to keep the fans coming to the stadium every week because, hey, if the team wins half the games, then the fans will never know when they'll attend a home win! And get really lucky one year and go 10-6 and make the playoffs! That'll pump the fans up! I'm Mike brown, and I'm trying to turn a profit. Winning is helpful for that, but in football, winning is expensive, and I'm not ready to win like the Colts.

Now, if Mike Brown were me,  here's what he would do:

1) Fire B-kowski: Over the past two years, it's become incredibly clear that Mr. Bratkowski simply is not the type of man we need running this offense. If Mr. Brown is me, he wants to win a championship. And Bob-o, sorry but, i don't see you fitting into the equation.

2) New QB: Damn you, Kimo von Oelenhaffen. Before you removed Carson's knee right there on the field, we had an All-Pro QB. No personal disrespect as you could probably kill me just by looking at me, but yeah. We'll take old Carson back now. Anyways, it's becoming more and more clear that Carson is not the QB he once was, and i think it's time we head in a new direction. I want to be the owner holding that trophy, and Carson, I love ya but, I'll see ya later. It's high time we invested in the QB of the future. I'm not saying drop Carson in the middle of the season, because odds are that wouldn't end well for this team. We need the continuity at least until we hang up the cleats and pads and call it a season. I'm thinking maybe draft a QB OR go talk to Andy Reid and the Eagles. They have two good QBs in Kevin Kolb and Michael Vick, and I'm sure we could talk them out of one.

3) Contracts: Jonathon Joseph. Cedric Benson. Leon Hall. What do these guys have in common? They are three of our strongest players, Pro-Bowlers, and they all need contract extensions. Use some of that money that I just freed up from cutting Carson. These guys all have amazing abilities and, hopefully, will be the guys to take the reins of this team and step up and be the leaders. This is a leaderless team folks, and these three guys are our best shots to be those leaders. Amen.

4) Keep Zim and... keep Marv: Wait what? Did I read that right? I understand keeping Captain Zimmer, leader of the Z-Fense League but... Marvin!?!? Yes, yes I know. I'm not a huge Marvin fan but... he's actually a pretty good coach. He's done the best he can with the cards he's been dealt... which sometimes isn't the best hand out there. Keep in mind people. 6 game swing. 2-14 to 8-8. One year. His rookie year as a coach. Two playoff Berths. With two teams that were like oil and vinegar. Very much different. He sould have his chance to shine IF this next one were to come to fruition.

5) Scouting Department: I don't know for a fact but... I think we have the smallest scouting department in the league? so... yeah. I'm Mike Brown, I want a ring and... I need to improve my front office. GM. President. More scouts, etc etc etc.

And on that note, I will now be taking donations to help me buy the team.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Cincy Jungle's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Cincy Jungle's writers or editors.

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