Bengals Player Pick 'Em Week 9 vs Pittsburgh

In the thread for last week's game I made a joke about trading a fantasy win for either of my teams winning.  Apparently I was too generous.  I should have been greedy and asked for both of my teams to win in exchange.  Sorry about that.  On the other hand, losing is about the only way we will get rid of Bratworst, and in the long run that may be worth the short-term pain.  Maybe.  I hope so at least, else I may go insane.

In the short term, however, we probably have some more pain to endure.  The Steelers are coming to town after having been pretty well embarrassed by the Saints, who had in turn just been embarrassed by the Browns, who had been embarrassed by the Steelers.  What a menage a trois that makes.  Ben and company are going to be determined to prove that last year was a fluke and beat us up good.  I hope they leave disappointed, but I have zero confidence left in Brat and not much left in Zim. If we win it will be a flat out miracle.  Anybody got one of those in their back pocket they could loan to the team?

Anyway, place your picks for this coming week in the comments.  Scoring recap post from last week is repeated below the jump as well as the summary version of the rules.  (Review the original full write-up of the rules here if you like.)  Pick your player in the comments and have fun!

Well that was a disgusting game yet again. What a mess. We start out looking strong and then go into the tank. I suppose in theory it was nice to see some offense at a point in the game when it wasn’t already hopeless, but not seeing any after that point was just disgusting. Brat has got to go. By any means necessary. Heck if necessary we need to seize the team by Eminent Domain not so much to get rid of Brown (though that would still be a hugely welcome bonus effect) but just to get rid of Brat. That’s how bad it’s gotten. He’s the most moronic, useless, imbecilic, brainless twit in the entire NFL and possibly all of football all the way down to pee-wee leagues. And not just the ones in America but even In Asia and Africa and wherever else [American football is] merely an afterthought but there might be a bunch of gross amateurs playing and having somebody calling plays for them… he’s still probably worse than even those people.

The only funny thing about this whole situation is that last weekend my fantasy team won and I would have traded it in a microsecond for either of my real teams winning. Looks like I got my wish this week, and exactly to the penny, as one of my teams won and my fantasy team lost again. Maybe I need to be more greedy next time and wish for both my real teams to win.

Well on with the scoring. Participation is falling as the team continues to suck, which is completely unsurprising. We had only 28 distinct entries before the deadline this weekend, and very few of them were for a player that scored. On offense, Terrell Owens is the only guy who found the end-zone, so my joke about the offensive players not being worth much looks pretty valid after all. On defense, we had a fair number of people picked but none of them scored. Only Morgan Trent and Michael Johnson had defensive scores, both turnovers that would have been worth 1 point each had anybody thought to pick them. Well at least it makes my new list calculation process simpler this week.

So this gives us weekly scoring of:

23 points – James Schmid the great (Terrell Owens)
23 points – WHYUS!! (Terrell Owens)
23 points – jimbasa (Terrell Owens)
23 points – CincyMike56 (Terrell Owens)
23 points – Purple City Middie (Terrell Owens)

And this leaves us with a eight-week leaderboard of:

1. FriarBob – 196 points
2. CincyMike56 – 191 points
3. Purple City Middie – 166 points
4. Mr. X – 160 points
5t. quickslant – 149 points
5t. Cry – 149 points
6. CincinnatiCyanide88 – 138 points
7. James Schmid the great – 127 points
8. jimbasa – 123 points
9. Jake Liscow – 122 points
10. The Dealio – 117 points
11. BradDwayne – 111 points
12. the Flying Pig – 110 points
13. Jcon77 – 109 points
14. Rocket_Man_G – 104 points
15. WHYUS!! – 95 points
16. duffmane – 86 points
17. BoomerEsiasonsLoveChild – 77 points
18. tafjag1 – 75 points
19t. Boomer Lion – 73 points
19t. TrickyD26 – 73 points
19t. Throw the ball – 73 points
19t. jimmer9 – 73 points
19t. TruWhoDey – 73 points
20. TheCinWin – 67 points
21. Alexneyer – 65 points
22t. Carsonorbust – 64 points
22t. BonnieBengal – 64 points
23. MCSubtext – 62 points
24. Oregonbengalsfan – 58 points
25t. darth zalmer – 54 points
25t. Bengal mayhem – 54 points
26. emeybee – 53 points
27. whodey?? – 52 points
28t. Jaegner – 49 points
28t. ephr – 49 points
29. Richard L – 37 points
30. ritalin – 31 points
31. Rockhound-11 – 30 points

Here is a quick recap of the rules.

1. Pick one player (Make it easy on me, make him the title of your post.  Both first and last name please, and please try to avoid nicknames or blatant misspellings.) who is NOT officially listed as a QB, P, or PK on the roster.
2. An offensive score is worth one point per participant who did not pick your player.
3. A defensive player is worth 2/1/0.5 point(s) per participant who did not pick your player based on if he 2) actually scored, 1) gained possession of the ball for the team but didn't actually score, or 0.5) allowed the Bengals to gain possession by causing a fumble (or blocking a kick) that another Bengals player recovered.  Sacks or tackles behind the line of and by themselves are not worth anything unless they are a strip-sack (0.5 points if we recover) or they are also a safety (2 points).  All half-points will be rounded down.  A blocked FG is always 0.5 for the blocker, a blocked punt is the same unless the blocker is the only person (on either team) to touch the ball before it becomes a safety (in which case it becomes 2 points).
   
4. You score the maximum possible points for your player but only one time.  So a defensive player who forces an opponent's fumble that Cincinnati recovers and recovers another opponent's fumble at a different point in the game is worth 1x points (not 1.5x cumulative).
5. Keep commentary to the bare minimum please.
6. Predictions on how they will score are not required, and if you provide one they don't net you any bonus if you are right nor do they detract if you are wrong (so long as they do actually score by game rules).
7. Try to be original yet still pick somebody you think has a realistic chance to score or cause a turnover.
8. Only ONE (1) player entry per contestant, per week is allowed.  Unless your first player was on the roster at the start of the week and is put on IR/cut/traded before the next week, your first comment is your player, so pick carefully.
9. Deadline for player entries each week is THIRTY (30) minutes prior to kickoff.