The Top Five Reasons the Bengals Shouldn't Play for a Draft Pick

These days, there isn't much to look forward to if you're a Bengals fan. There's always tailgating but if you don't have tickets, due to the NFL's awesome blackout policy, you can't even watch the Bengals lose from the comfort of your own home. These are dark days indeed.

For many of the Bengals faithful, the only thing worth looking forward to now is the 2011 NFL draft and the possibility of playing for a first overall pick. While I agree that a first overall pick is an exciting concept, I don't think the Bengals should strive to get it. The following five reasons are why.

If I created a poll asking which three teams Bengals fans hate the most, I'm assuming the most hated team would be the Pittsburgh Steelers, the second most hated would be the Baltimore Ravens and the third would be the Cleveland Browns. It's possible that the Raven and Browns would be flipped but that's not important. The point is, Bengals fans don't like the Baltimore Ravens.

Right now, the Ravens are in fifth place in the AFC and are sitting pretty in the first wild card spot. However, they haven't locked up their playoff spot. The Bengals play their last regular season game against the Ravens in Baltimore. The Ravens play the Saints and Browns before that game. If they drop one of those two and San Diego or Indianapolis wins out, the Bengals could be in position to knock the Ravens out of the playoffs in their last game.

You can't tell me that wouldn't feel sweet. The Bengals might not have had a successful year but they would end this terrible excuse for a football season by crushing the playoff dreams of one of our most hated rivals. Considering how the Bengals seem to have the Ravens number, it's not completely impossible.

Philip Rivers has never shot a man or punched a hooker. Based off of Rivers' ability on a football field and the previous sentence, people should love Rivers the way they love Peyton Manning or Tom Bra.... never mind. They don't though. In fact, they do the exact opposite to Rivers. They hate him. And I don't mean that fans hate him because he always beats their favorite teams. No, they hate him with the fury of a thousand suns for other reasons. Why though?

They just do.

Maybe it's Rivers' trash talking that irks most fans or maybe it's the fact that he looks like every bully whoever beat us up in grade school combined. Whatever it is, it makes everybody hate him to the point that there can almost be a scientific law about it. Something along the lines of: P. Rivers' Mother ≥ Only Person Who Likes Him (because she has to) ≠ everybody else. Of course I don't have a doctorate in the why people hate Philip Rivers field so I'm just assuming that is one of the first equations you would have to learn to get that degree.

Think how great it would be that, when the Bengals host the Chargers on December 26, the defensive line and linebackers punished Rivers every time he dropped back to pass and a decimated secondary intercepted a couple of his passes on the way to a win, which of course would destroy any hopes that the Chargers have about going to the playoffs as a wild card team. What a great Christmas present that would be.

Do you want to get swept by the Cleveland Browns? No?

Neither do I and I'm positive the Bengals don't either. The Bengals are going to be the last place team in the AFC North this season no matter what but at least they could save a little face by winning the battle of Ohio at least once this season.

I don't know why but a 2-14 season in which the Bengals get swept by the Browns sounds exponentially worse than a 3-13 season in which the Bengals beat the Browns at home. The balance of power in the AFC North may be shifting away from the Bengals (like they ever really had any) and to the Browns and a win on Sunday may just be delaying the inevitable but it would still, at least for me, help me digest this terrible season.

The Bengals would need to lose their remaining three games if they want a chance at the first overall draft pick. If they win one of those three games, they could possibly fall from first or second pick all the way back to the fifth overall pick based on their strength of schedule.

If you really think about it, do you want the Bengals to throw in the towel on their last three games of the season in order to get a higher draft pick than No. 5? I know I don't. I would hate the idea of the Bengals throwing a game so they have a chance at a a certain player in the draft. In fact, that is what they make bad sports movies about. The only people who hate that idea more than me are probably the players and I can guarantee you that they aren't planning on playing for a draft pick. To me, the best possible ending to this disappointing season so far would be to beat the Browns, then the Chargers and then the Ravens and finish the season with a 5-11 record.

I'm assuming that if the Bengals were desperate enough for a first overall pick that they are willing to lose their final three games, it would be because they want a shot at Stanford quarterback, Andrew Luck. Luck, I'm sure, is going to make a great professional quarterback one day. He has the brains and all the physical skills necessary to do so. He has been compared to Peyton Manning. So?

Considering that the Bengals are likely going to need a new running back, one or two new starting receivers, offensive lineman, defensive lineman and a safety. Drafting Luck would be the equivalent of the Bengals putting a band-aid on a bullet wound.

When you look at how the Bengals have underachieved in every way that a football can underachieve this season, drafting a safety or offensive lineman or defensive lineman or running back makes just as much sense, if not more sense, than drafting a quarterback would. There are too many holes in this team for one rookie quarterback to fill (HA!).