Open Letter to Bengals Community

From: Kansas City Chiefs Nation

To: The Bengals Nation

     I write to you today both in commendation and gratitude. On Dec. 26, 2010, you took down a force of evil and made a stand for good in the world. For the past four years the evil Chargers have plagued the AFC west. As the other teams in the division diligently retooled, the Chargers smugly waltzed into division title after division title. Their Johny-come-lately approach to competition was a direct insult to their peers in the league. "We don't need to take anything seriously yet," they wagered;"we're so good we will just play well the last few weeks and the title will come. It's owed to us.!" This year something changed. As their playoff hopes lay in the ICU, they expected the resurgent Chiefs to just fade away and die. The Chargers didn't have to do anything so long as KC knew its place and rolled over for them. KC responded by dismantling the Titans, thereby making a statement to the Chargers and the NFL that they're for real. Even STILL the Chargers remained Cavalier. They walked into Cincinnati with their noses high in their air. All they had to do was stand around while the "Bungles" beat themselves. "too easy" they thought. As As Phillip Rivers, with his fetus level maturity, joked with his team mates about the "lead" the Bengals had just mounted, the end finally came. Carson Palmer pulled the life support line with an epic TD pass to put the game out of reach. The Chargers gasped for air. Rivers desperately tried to complete a pass against the Bengals stud duo of corners to no avail. The Bengals didn't stop at that. They punched the final steak through SD's heart with a late rushing score. The high pitch screams produced by Phillp Rivers' minuscule, yet-to-drop testicles were heard around the league, but most loudly in Kansas City. The Chiefs now go to the playoffs largely of their own doing, but with a critical assist from the Bengals(looking rad in their alt. orange). We watched your victory with joy and owe you our thanks. Thank you, Cincinnati, for destroying the Chargers so that the forces of good can supplant them. It is a shame that you cannot join us in the post season, but  just know that as the glorious crimson flag, bearing the mighty arrowhead, charges righteously forth into the NFL playoffs, a piece of that glory is yours. Maybe we can make things better fo you, and the young club-going women of Dallas, by keeping the Steelers out of the Super Bowl.

 

Sincerely,

A grateful Chiefs nation