We all know that we won't get any sort of favoritism from the press. ESPN will never pick us to win. NFL Network will only show short clips of TDs and Ints because they have to.
Well, here's my projection of what kind of quotes to expect before every game. Just so you're ready.
Week 1 quote: “Brady and his crew are going to crush the Bengals. This is Cincy we’re talking about.”
Week 2 quote: “The Ravens are going to win the division. Last year’s complete dominance of the NFC North was a fluke. The Bengals are after all, the bengals.”
Week 3 quote: “The 2-0 start by the Bengals was unexpected by everyone here in the booth. But Cincy always plays at the level of their opponent, so expect them to trip all over their shoelaces and lose to the 0-2 Panthers.”
Week 4 quote: “Delhomme loved watching Cincy defeat his old team last week, but now he and this rough and tumble Cleveland team are going to give a fight. It’s rivalry week in Ohio and the Browns are going to upset the 3-0 Bengals.”
Week 5 quote: “I think The Bucs hand the Bengals their first loss of the season. After all, the Bengals are the Bengals and there are signs of their demise before their week off. Plus, there’s NO WAY those gad damnt bengals are gonna be 5-0, that’s unpossible! (Bradshaw quote).”
Week 6 bye week quote: "Enjoy your undefeated season thus far, Bungles! It's about to end real soon!"
Week 7 quote: " I was wrong about those Bengals against the Bucs. Are the Bengals the real deal this year? Hell no. Altanta will win this one in double overtime."
Week 8 quote: “The 6-0 Bengals host the ’Fins this week. Expect the Ghost of Dan Marino to be in the lockerroom and lead them to victory. Mike Nolans crazy super amazing defense will put Carson to the test!”
Week 9 quote: “Everyone knows that Big Ben is in town. Chastity belts are sold out in the entire country and that means Ben is really, really focused on keeping his 2-4 team in the hunt for the playoffs! The undefeated Bengals are gonna get their asses kicked for sure. Hines Ward is fully recovered from his head in the ass injury suffered in week 3. Bengals lose to the always better Steelers.”
Week 10 quote: “Well, last week’s fluke win over the Steelers to make the Bengals 8-0 and leading their division. That’s all about to change. These chumps are gonna feel the heat this week cause they face Peyton in his place. There’s no freakin’ way the Bengals can beat the Colts at home…I think.” (Terry Bradshaw).
Week 11 quote: “Who would have guessed in their wildest dreams that the hapless Bungles would take their motley crew of thugs and losers to a 9-0 start? However, just because the Bills have no offense, and no defense, again, this doesn’t mean that Cincy should for one second think they can win this game. Cincy loses 13-14.”
Week 12 quote: “Anyone who watched the last part of the 09 season knows that the Bengals can’t defeat the Jets. NY hands them their first defeat for sure as certainly Cincy can’t repeat as playoff contenders.”
Week 13 quote: “Well those smart ass Bengals are in for it now! Prepare for your 10-0 record to be blemished, criminal losers who happen to have the #1 ranked defense. Drew Brees will soundly defeat you! Ha-ha!!”
Week 14 quote: “Don’t think for once second that Bengals are good. They may have won in overtime against the Saints, but that was pure luck. Now they go to Pittsgurgle and face off against their hated rivals. Ben’s comeback road has been rocky for sure, and it’s a must win for them to even think about post-season action. Expect them to crush the Bengals, who we all know suck. Just look at their 10 year record.”
Week 15 quote: “These Bengals are starting to turn some heads, but I’m still not convinced this 14-0 team is the real deal. Their track record shows an implosion is iminant. Cleveland upsets Cincy, 100-17, mark my words!”
Week 16 quote: “Well of course they beat Cleveland. Again. San Diego will come to town and kick their freakin asses! Arrggghhhhh!!!!”
Week 17 quote: “There’s never been an undefeated Cinncinnatti team (just for you Josh) and there never will be. The Bengals are resting everyone, except JT O’sullivan, who’s out there all by himself warming up. Ravens win.”