10... The new Food Network series, Jeremi Tackles a Grillout.
9... Removed his own surgical lap-belt using only the Golden Corral buffet.
8... The usual donut curls and twinkie-eats in his offseason workout regimen, have been supplemented this year by an easier, less-productive drill, the gravy chug.
7... In an attempt to trim some fat, he'll be replacing his THC intake with methamphetamine.
6... At 330 lbs. he now claims that his "natural position" is right guard.
5... He constantly showed up late to practice last year, citing "that punk in the cafeteria who hides the extra ketchup packets" as the cause.
4... He couldn't get through an interview with the Rams without eating sausage links wrapped in a napkin out of his shirt pocket.
3... He's now up to 3 bungee cords needed to wear his electric ab belt.
2... For the last month he's been riding his Rascal around at the Grand Canyon after watching too much daytime TV.
1... He ate Quan Cosby.
This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Cincy Jungle's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Cincy Jungle's writers or editors.