FanPost

The Doctor is in

Are you suffering from a nagging headache?

Do you have a persistent aching acid feeling in your stomach that reoccurs on winter Sundays, say around 4:00 PM?

Do you have an annoying ringing in your ears as you try to fall asleep while your nagging brain sends torrents of nonstop thoughts circling thru your head until you feel the need for a couple of double shots of Wild Turkey 101?

Have you tried all of the products that promise quick relief only to find you have been scammed?

Have you tried therapy only to find it ineffective?

How about meditation, yoga or tantric sex?

Nothing worked? The pain just seems to get worse? Have you found that you can't cure cancer with a topical ointment?.

Well, take two aspirin and wash it down with that Turkey Double shot and call me in the morning at bengalsnextstep@yahoo.com. I do not promise you a quick fix. I do not promise that I can heal you. I do however promise that you will feel better just knowing that you did something more than complain and I also promise that there will not be any side effects such as thoughts of suicide, stomach cramps or anal leakage. I assure you that if you get on board that I will do my very best to put your support to work to good effect.

Regards, JJ

P.S. No I am not really a doctor. I didn't even play one on TV. I am actually not a healer. It is, in fact, my intent to see to it that MB spends a few sleepless nights with his arms wrapped around a very large bottle of Pepto. I cannot however do it alone. In fact I cannot do it at all. You, the collective you, however, can.

Or, maybe you think this will just heal itself - or maybe you just don't care anymore. If so, stop lying to yourself and step forward and be counted.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Cincy Jungle's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Cincy Jungle's writers or editors.

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