Open Thread: Why God Hates Me Playing Fantasy Football

by Josh Kirkendall on Oct 24, 2011 6:10 PM EDT

ARLINGTON, TX - OCTOBER 23: Running back DeMarco Murray #29 of the Dallas Cowboys breaks free for a 91-yard touchdown run against the St. Louis Rams at Cowboys Stadium on October 23, 2011 in Arlington, Texas. Murray broke an all-time Cowboy rushing record with 253 yards with this run. (Photo by Layne Murdoch/Getty Images)

This is a small personal note I had to get off my chest. It was bad. Laugh at me if you will, but I suspect more of you have experienced similar stories of your own. While drafting my fantasy football team this year, loaded with two liters of Mountain Dew and an oak tree full of cotton candy, one thing I never pay attention to is when players that I'm getting ready to draft have a bye week. It's a major to-do list for fantasy football players that are entirely too obsessed with it, becoming more interested in their team than the actual games played. I'm no gamer. I just the hate the game. But some unexplained phenomenon from the reaches throughout the universe pulls at me. So I play. I have to. Being pointed at while everyone laughs at me draws too many painful memories. Granted I've played well this year, but I suspect my karma is coming to an end.

Week seven hit me harder in fantasy football for two reasons. The more notable one, the only reason I'm bringing this up, is due to a bye week between both of my quarterbacks (Tom Brady and Andy Dalton) this weekend. John Beck was the only starting quarterback available. So I picked him up. Needed to open a spot on my roster.

My final pick, my Mr. Irrelevant, was Cowboys running back DeMarco Murray. With Michael Turner and DeAngelo Williams, who has been completely screwed by the revamped Carolina offense to suit Cam Newton, as my starting running backs, I didn't need Murray. And the morning I dropped him off the roster, he set a franchise record 253 yards rushing with a scosh over 10 yards per rush. This is reason #14,201 that fantasy football pisses me off more than terrorists that kick puppies.

Believing that using a roster spot for a backup place kicker is similar to planning a contingency that the planet Earth will run out of oxygen so I'll buy a single tank of breathable oxygen as a "just in case" plan of action, my kicker Mike Nugent stayed on the active roster, because I largely already accepted the loss this weekend. I mean. I had John freaking Beck as my starting quarterback.

How did your fantasy football teams do this weekend? Any similar stories?

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Gresham

is my normal TE in fantasy, so having a bye week I went searching the waiver wire, lo and behold Gates was sitting there for the picking! But he was questionable so I also picked up some bum from Cleveland. The Cleveland TE got me .5 this week while Gates got 11.5 on the bench. I lost this week by 4 F’in points. FML.

by Ochocinco on Oct 24, 2011 6:08 PM EDT reply actions

Gates was a available!!!

What kind of idiot dropped Gates…i know hes been hurt but cmon man!

by Toledoray7 on Oct 25, 2011 9:02 AM EDT up reply actions

Got lucky

Byes + injuries hit my team hard. I had to pick up no less than 4 players. Had a terrible score. Luckily, the guy I was playing went out of town and forgot to update his starters before leaving. He had 3 starters on byes.

by MrMcLargeHuge on Oct 24, 2011 6:08 PM EDT via iPhone app reply actions

I picked up DeMarco Murray and got 31 pts, but I still lost because 7 of my receivers were on byes.

by DTFCPDX on Oct 24, 2011 6:23 PM EDT reply actions

Sorry, I mean 4 of 6 receivers were on bye, plus benson, and Earnest Graham only got me 1 point because he was injured in the game.

by DTFCPDX on Oct 24, 2011 7:21 PM EDT up reply actions

you're tied for 2nd in the CJ league, but aren't even in the top 5 in points

so what exactly are you complaining about :-)

by ephram on Oct 24, 2011 6:26 PM EDT reply actions

i need anquan boldin to get me 10 points tonight.

by JCompton41 on Oct 24, 2011 7:14 PM EDT via mobile reply actions

Well

When it’s a live draft sometimes you don’t have enough time to look at bye week stats, you just grab the best available. But I’m with you on the bye week blues, plus half my team is injured. I had to pick up anyone I could. You know it’s slim pickings when you’re counting on Matt Cassell!

But is there anything more annoying than to lose to someone who didn’t even bother to fill in their bye weeks??? *@#& you Drew Brees and Marques Colston!!!

Ah well, I’m out of the running in most of my leagues. In fact I’m thinking of renaming most of my teams to “The Infirmary”.

by spif on Oct 24, 2011 7:31 PM EDT reply actions

In my ESPN league...

we start two QBs in the line up every week and since Fitzpatrick was on a bye this week I had to use Cassel as my number two and boy did he make me angry with his terrible throws. But thankfully I had Brees as my number one and I got 64 out of him, as well as 24 out of Darren Sproles. But there’s a guy in our league who is probably going to go 16-0 because he has Brady and Rodgers as his starters, not to mention Arian Foster as one of his RBs. :o

by dstacify on Oct 24, 2011 10:50 PM EDT up reply actions

I'm thinking about using Dalton...

as my number two next week as he’s not turning the ball over as much as Fitzpatrick is right now.

by dstacify on Oct 24, 2011 10:53 PM EDT up reply actions

delmarco acquired in both my leagues

And yeah you need to think bye weeks to get you through. A lot of games won and lost due to not realizing this until it’s too late.

I won both games but injuries are going to haunt me this week. McFadden Best Wells all lame! Not good.

Wrong! Conan! What is best in life?

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

by UpStateMike on Oct 24, 2011 7:31 PM EDT via iPhone app reply actions

I'm with ya

Except my team has McFadden, Wells, and Andre Johnson.

by spif on Oct 24, 2011 7:36 PM EDT up reply actions

Arian Foster exploded for 53 points and Murray gave me 38...

So the rest of my team was able to cruise

by nightraven00 on Oct 24, 2011 9:29 PM EDT reply actions

I'm going after Murray this week...

since right now I’m banged up at RB with Earnest Graham being injured as well as Jahvid Best being out with a concussion. That leaves me with only Ray Rice and Daniel Thomas as my two healthy backs. On the upside, my choice to pick up Tebow as soon as he became the starter in Denver is looking better and better right now.

by dstacify on Oct 24, 2011 10:45 PM EDT reply actions

I cut Plaxico Burress this week to plick up and play Mo Morris.

Yeah.

by Boomer Lion on Oct 24, 2011 11:18 PM EDT reply actions

Oh yeah, I got one lol...

The guy i played had Cam Newton (25), Adrian Peterson (24), DeMarco Murray (35), Dez Bryant (20), Greg Jennings (27)

I did ok, and might have won except for one little player….Darren McFadden….FACEPALM!

by ASco05 on Oct 24, 2011 11:49 PM EDT reply actions

I know your pain...

I got screwed at RB this week with Earnest Graham and at receiver with Santana Moss. Thankfully Brees won me one of my games this week and Tebow won me the other one.

by dstacify on Oct 24, 2011 11:51 PM EDT up reply actions