Bengals Mock w/Trades, Wildcards, and an Alternate Universe

In this alternate universe, Mike Brown is competent- or at least has belatedly become so, and the cascade of prospects down the seven tiers to NFLdom is slightly skewed by the inhuman and, at times, seemingly arbitrary Draftek Simulator.

Here, the new CBA has been ironed out, signed, and is in place long enough before the draft to accommodate the swap meet.

Hostage negotiation has resulted in Carson Palmer releasing the organization from limbo and hightailing it for the Pacific Northwest in return for Seattle's first-round pick(#25) and Charlie "Clipboard Jesus" Whitehurst. Little Palmer is last seen chasing a certain home-bound Boeing down the runway at CVG.

Meanwhile, everybody's favorite problem child, Chad Narcissismo, is shipped off Belichick way for one of New England's embarrassment of riches, a third-rounder(#74). T.O. is last seen doing crunches in Mike Shanahan's driveway. 

Submitted for your approval- or not, after the jump- if I haven't botched this formating horribly.

#4 Cam Newton QB Auburn (6'-6" 250): Between Whitehurst and LeFevour a stopgap starter can surely be cobbled together while the Auburn signal-caller is assimilated into the pro game. Chances are, Newton is starting by mid-season if not before and BOC's new offensive scheme suits the spectacularly mobile rookie to a T.

#25 Tyron Smith OT USC (6'-5" 307): At just 20 years old, Tyron is still filling out. The knock on him at season's end was that, at 280lbs., he was too light but he's packed on 27lbs. of muscle and will probably add another ten or fifteen before he's fully mature. For all you fans of Andre Smith's manboobs, I give you his antithesis:


tyron (via raindogzilla1)

To be honest, I'm not sure exactly how we'd fit Smith into our existing line. My guess would be at right tackle, eventually, with Collins backing up both he and Whit.

#35 Marcus Cannon OG TCU (6'-5" 358): A little bit different body type than the one above but, if it's at all possible to carry 360lbs well, Cannon pulls it off. Watching some of his Combine workout yesterday, Marcus does not look like a fat man, just a huge solid one and a roadgrader to boot.

#66 Rahim Moore S UCLA (6'-1" 200): A three-year starter and a captain of the UCLA defense this year, Rahim is a quick, instinctive safety with excellent- former wide receiver, hands. Known more for his coverage than run support, Moore did play close to the line most of this year- his stats were adversely effected by a really bad overall Bruin defense, and made himself into a solid run-stopper.

#74 Jonathan Baldwin WR Pitt (6'-5" 228): This is probably a little late for Baldwin. Some have him going as high as late first but I'm committed to the simulator and this pick makes me happy. Great hands, vertical speed and size, Baldwin will need work on intermediate routes and getting separation from smaller corners in press coverage. Potential Megatron 2.0.

 #100 Kenrick Ellis DT Hampton (6'-5" 335): Incredible size and bulk but with a quick first step and a good penetrator. Almost immovable at the point of attack and plays angry, competitive. An excellent addition to our interior rotation.

#131 Greg Little WR UNC (6'-2" 230): Here's where we go outside the box a bit. Greg Little is thought of as having great potential as a receiver but still being a little raw. The reason he's raw is that he spent his first two years in Chapel Hill as a tailback. Strong as he is- he did 27 reps at 225 yesterday, I'd like to see him return to the backfield, giving us a big, sure-handed complement to Bernard Scott.

#163 Pernell McPhee DE Miss St. (6'-3" 275): This is purely a depth pick and I must confess that I'd just really like to have a guy named Pernell on the team. It's good.

#194 Deunta Williams S UNC (6'-1" 215): North Carolina is like the TJ Maxx of this year's draft, what with all the bargain basement talent. Deunta Williams is a playmaker, period. And, with only two safeties currently signed, two top-notch draftees in rounds three and seven is just too good to pass up.

The only thing really missing, in my mind, is a serviceable OLB. I initially targeted Casey Matthews in the 4th but, after reading up on him, realized he's projected as an ILB(why, at his size, I'm not sure) and we've pretty much got that covered.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Cincy Jungle's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Cincy Jungle's writers or editors.

Log In Sign Up

Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Cincy Jungle

You must be a member of Cincy Jungle to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Cincy Jungle. You should read them.

Join Cincy Jungle

You must be a member of Cincy Jungle to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Cincy Jungle. You should read them.




Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.