Bengals Early Bird Special

Boy oh boy, did I hear something quite unusual last night. I heard that the Bengals decided to trade Carson Palmer to the JFL, the Japanese Football League. In return the Bengals will receive sushi for 192 years, an actual replica of Godzilla along with all of the movies that are remotely related to that "terrifying" lizard, as well as 5,930.5 ninjas just because ninjas are AWESOME, 627 Japanese Zen and rock gardens, and even Jackie Chan himself. But wait it doesn't stop there.

The Bengals also decided to release Jordan Palmer. They believed that contrary to what he has told the media, that he too, will want out of Cincinnati by threatening to retire if he isn't traded after being on the bench for his entire career. Jordan's decision has left the city and team in turmoil. I can't seem to bear the thought of Jordan leaving the city. What will we ever do without him? Oh wait...probably what we've been doing the past three or so years he has been warming up the bench. And finally Mike Brown wants to have Andy Dalton sit on the bench until his hair is no longer red. Seriously?

The next quarterback is going to be the guy who suits up as the mascot. Brown saw his arm when tossing out those free t-shirts and fell in love with his accuracy and arm strength. I mean come on, throwing a t-shirt and a football are basically the same thing...wait nevermind they aren't. They are complete opposites. Now that's just too much to take in in one day.

Okay so as usual that isn't happening. And none of my comments reflect how I truly feel about the Palmer brothers or Andy Dalton.  But let's face it, getting some ninjas and Jackie Chan would be epic. And if Mike Brown decided to do any that then the city would demand that he be sent to an insane asylum for the remainder of his life.

Alright now let's get you caught up on all of the action that you may have missed or overlooked from Thursday:

• Our very own Paul Cannon decided to play the "devil's advocate" and discuss why the Bengals should keep Chad Ochocinco for one final season.
• Up next our very own Jason Garrison discusses why the Bengals should part ways with Chad Ochocinco. I'm going to keep my mouth shut on this situation because quite frankly I'm on the fence about it. I can see both sides of the argument for Ochocinco.
• Jordan Palmer considers his brother, Carson, a former teammate. With the likely departure of Carson, maybe Jordan will finally get a chance to showcase his abilities for our eyes to feast upon.
• We took a look at the Bengals offensive production since the 2000 season. The focus was on the total amout of yards per game, not the amount of touchdowns scored.
• Cornerback Adam Jones voiced his opinion on Carson Palmer's desire to leave Cincinnati. I think Jones still needs to establish himself as a legitimate threat in the league before he can be critical of veteran players like Palmer. Just saying.... 
• According to ESPN the Antonio Bryant signing was one of the worst free agent decisions in the past 25 years. I think a majority of us would have to agree with that one....
• A then and now look at former Bengals running back Harold Green.
• If Jordan Palmer doesn't land the starting quarterback gig with the Bengals then he will become the next Jon Kitna in the sense that he will be there to mentor rookie Andy Dalton.