It's a couple of hours into Christmas Eve morning. You watched some cartoons because there's no school. You spot the dog-eared copy of the Sears Toy Catalog over by the half-eaten bowl of Cap'n Crunch and you decide to go through it one last time just to see if there are any awesome amazing toys you need to add to your list before the big day arrives. Lo and behold, there it is, on a page you've perused a million times! Your "Must Have" present!
Instead of your dad being there, it's Mike Brown. He says in a tired crackled voice after shoveling the driveway "Son. I'm way to tired to get it myself. Here's my checkbook, get what you want, just keep it under the cap.."
So there you are. With Mike Brown's Checkbook and the balance is $46.8 million. What free agent whirlwind do you get? Here's mine:
- Matt Leinart (HOU) - he's good enough to start, and worlds better than our backups. He would be a good one to have in camp helping Ginger err Dalton get ready for the NFL.
- Mike Tolbert (SD) - OMG. You want power smashmouth RB? Tolbert SMASH!
- Tyson Clabo (ATL) - Clabo will push Andre Smith out of his way in practice and tell him to fetch him some Gatorade while he lines up at RT. Mower gets engaged. RB's have a clean path to the Endzone.
- Evan Mathis (CIN) - I know what you're thinking, punk. He won't play for Cincy anymore. Wrong. I got this check here for you Evan, and there's more zero's than Pearl Harbor in 1941. I think he's a good, underplayed OG and as good as any free agent available.
- Adam Vinatieri (IND) – yup. He's 85 years old. And can still kick the crap out of a football. I'll take him.
- Haloti Ngata (BAL) - Pricey, but worth it. Especially when he gets trotted out on Sundays in Baltimore. Ohh Yeah.
- Johnathan Joseph (CIN) – Here's your check. Thanks for playing.
- Roman Harper (NO) - we need safety help bigtime. I gotta spend all Mike Brown's money before he recovers from shoveling. Harper should have been in the Pro Bowl last year.
Ok, so I got some guys we need. Plug this baby in and lets play!
This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Cincy Jungle's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Cincy Jungle's writers or editors.