Lose Johnathan Joseph. Check. Have two disastrous press conferences with owner Mike Brown that forces Bengals fans to commit themselves to psychiatric evaluation. Check. Have your franchise quarterback, face of your organization, choose to retire rather than return to the team. Check. Watch free agents sign with other teams while supporting the perception that you're doing nothing to improve the team. Check. Accidentally announce that you released cornerback Morgan Trent, then make a "ha, joke's on you" follow up statement that you actually didn't release Morgan Trent. Check.

Make sure your first practice of the year is completely interrupted by thunderstorms in the area, addressing the theory of minority that it's God, not Mike Brown, that keeps kicking the Bengals.

The Bengals were scheduled to kick off their first practice during Training Camp at 3 p.m. Saturday afternoon at Georgetown. However the team took cover when thunderstorms started rolling through the area, which has since knocked the power out in Georgetown. At last report the Bengals will resume practice at 6:40 p.m. and fans, if you're reading this on your mobile devices, will be allowed back to the complex at 5:30 p.m.