FanPost

f*** you!! F*** YOU!! your cool, and F*** You I'm OUT!!!

i'm not tryin to make anyone here feel inferior cause they on the grill b, but i gotta turn around and say the orders to ppl instead of just shoutin them over the microphone. (thx halfbaked)

what the HELL is going on.

This should go at the end, but i think it's pretty important that we all remember that amazing feeling we had in the pit of our stomach when it was announced that mARVIN was coming back to join us. i know i was personally gratified and my soul was put at ease when i saw the blooming chemistry between Dr. Evil Brown and mARVIN. or much more so during training camp when i get to hear mARVIN say that resigning players is a "PAST CULTURAL ISSUE" in his 8/9/11 press conference. that's like telling someone that you prefer the pineapple inserted backwards to make a fruit cocktail......yeah.

Zimmer, yes Mike Zimmer, the last bit of hope since Jonathan Hayes calling chase a "wedding d*ck" on hard knocks. Zimmer, f*ck it man, lets just bring the house...i will say thank GOD, Roy Williams wasn't out there running around looking for Kelly Rolland.

Rey Maualuga looks good getting back into Ray Lewis/Metallica (kill em all) mode, which i salivate for, i'm sure it's just hard for Rey to not think "oh crap, i'm supposed to be covering somebody before zimm gets mad at me."

Domata Peko, and Geno Atkins disappointed me. So did Gathers. Michael Johnson (reminds me if Dwight Howard was actually good/scary and played football) didn't get rolling till later in the game, which at that time, was all 2nd/3rd/4th string players and convicts such as our illustrious DeQuin Evans (whatup D block)

Didn't see Tank Johnson (thank sweet baby jesus for that) the d-line didn't impress that much.

I like what Dan Skuta had to say out there (playing instead of talking) i just wish he had a better name....or at least a real football name.

I like what IFranchizeI had to say about moving Manny Lawson to DE. i'm not a big college fan so i can't call it, but i do know that he seemed a bit in run around confused mode. eventho he did take on a wicked block on a sweep to allow rey to destroy in i believe the 1st or 2nd series.

Brandon Johnson looked pretty good as well but again, by that time he was playing against practice squad kids.

Thomas Howard seemed pedestrian, but anything is better than Keith Rivers and Dhani Jones chasing tailbacks down the field towards the endzone from the opposite direction, so all in all i'm a fan of the rey move, i'm sure zimmer will get it together.

I'm friggin pissed about Dontay Moch, he was one of the unproven (in the nfl) ppl that i was actually bragging to ppl about.

Leon Hall....i guess, in the words of Clark Griswold "good talk russ".

I think i wouldn't be so upset if he actually looked like he cared out there, but it's his apathetic attitude that gets me upset. and the fact that he's 5 foot 4 in real life. don't get me wrong, over the past 4 years all i could do was know deep down in my gut that leon or jj would be able to pick off ANYBODY and get us the ball for another 3 and out..but at least I KNEW THEY COULD BE COUNTED ON (really sorry for the caps...but seeing as we're all family here, i'm sure yall share my frustration). After lastnight, i feel like even tho it's preseason and it doesn't count and yadda yadda, i personally know that i would run those exact outside short fade and inside return seam plus about 4000 more "pick on the 5 foot 4 guy" plays as an o coordinator. but i'm sure he's happy with the money we could have given jj.

Didn't see Nate Clements that much. Maybe try him as our #1 so he can get beat too. I remember him avoiding tackles in buffalo, funny how ppl call him a "tackler" now.

Believe it or not i like Reggie Nelson, i liked him in madden on the jags, so as the old rule of thumb goes, anyone you like in madden you automatically have to like in real life.

Morgan Trent, in the words of kymani marley "much respect". this kid works hard, and so do washing machines, but at least he looks good doing it.

Tom Nelson, as mentioned above, washing machines work hard...and look better than he does. and don't get me wrong either i'm a big fan of the "working man"-esque players, I just kinda wanna win a bowl. (yeah, in cinci...i know)

Robert Sands aka the predator, please prove to the WORLD that you are the 1st tall safety to be good in the league.

I like this...only done with the defense.

Here we go:

1st, I'm almost certain that someone saw my Fire Brat sign in san diego 2years back, or my 3 stooges sign at the black hole in oakland when our very own piece of garbage bruce G beat us...regardless, i'm really glad that we stopped playing tecmo bowl on offense. i'm sure it wasn't a Dr. Evil Brown decision, perhaps brat died trying to coach up a coin-star machine and so we HAD to make a change. these youtube folks do good work:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1YTBDgCRME&feature=related

I'm not gonna start with Andy, i'll wait.

Jerome Simpson, can someone please get this cat a helmet that FITS, he looks like Nnamdi Asomugha out there. But astectics aside, i like that this cat is trying to get a little bit of spark out there. he's not gonna be quiet like mARVIN wants. at 1st i was pissed cause they didn't show the replay on the penalty on the sideline but after seeing that it wasn't his fault made me smile. add that to his little showcase against the "predator" in camp, i like what he's doing....keeping in mind this is the same costal carolina player that made dope catches in a D4 (i know there is no division 4 in college but really?) program, but there's a reason we brought in Terrell Owens and before that, that brilliant move to get Antonio Bryant which...worked out so well....and especially helped us in our infamous sallary department. But we also got Mike Jones before that, so why were we actively seeking (not so much a chad replacement) but another star on the other side, if we had ROMMIE-ROME!! (what up martin)

A.J. Green, lazy talent. he was pissed on the pick and looked like a dumb a** running backwards like this was college, but he had a huge catch radius and i like his mickey mouse hands. he's very dez bryant-esque. we'll see if he holds up, if not i might personally fly out to cinci and tell Andre Caldwell that A.) you NOT GOOD B.) STOP GETTING TATTOOS especially on your neck, YOUR NOT A THUG and C.) do your eyes help you see in xray vision?? but honestly, I was guilty of jumping on my couch when andre made such catches as: save our a**es in x-burg (not allowed to say that word in my house) but when my boy asked me "dog, are you really excited to have Andre Caldwell as a possible receiver??" I thought about it and had to say "sh*t....no, i'm not."

Ok, here we go, Quarterbacks.....

I'm the biggest Jordan Palmer believer since his "touchdown, cause all i throw is touchdowns....on scout team" comment in hardkocks. unfrotuantely, last night showed me that as many times as i try to believe in the man, he's friggin terrible.

Dan LeFevour, please see my reference to REAL FOOTBALL NAMES above when i mentioned Dan Skuta. This guy should follow Kurt Warner's career path before he played in the NFL.

Bruce Gradkowski...., can someone please just assassinate me right f*cking NOW!!! as a "veteran" and "the raiders hope" and "the veteran" (yeah, ima throw that word around alot) anyway, as "a VETERAN" he looked like Joey Harrington if he actually ever threw the ball. His arm strenght is slightly less of an ohhhh say Chad Pennington or a Andy Dalton, but his accuracy is that of a young Quincy Carter or a Mark Sanchez.....yeah.

Andy, why do you have to have red hair man....i mean it's like, even if you wind up to be the greatest qb ever, ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO LIKE SOMEONE WITH RED HAIR. i'ma throw out some examples: Carrot Top, O.P., Lucille Ball, Julianne Moore, Susan Sarandon, Rupert Grint, or see southparks "ginger kids" hhttp://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s09e11-ginger-kids

but honestly, andy "settled down" once he was seeing 2nd and 3rd string talent.

my texts last night read:

"....Andy Dalton 1st pro throw...interception.

4 possessions, 2 turnovers, 2 lions touchdowns....keep in mind this is detroit.

Dalton throw #2, overthrows his fullback 5 yards on a 5 yard out, 3rd down drive killer...yup.

Dalton play #3, sack on a 3 step drop...didn't even get to plant foot.

Play #4 makes simpson make an acrobat catch on a 1yard comeback route.

Play 5, Suh rips off daltons helmet!!!

Play 6, touchdown Jerome Simpson however refs say it's incomplete and mARVIN doesn't challenge. First team offense done.

QB Sean Hill just ran 15 yards, flipped into the end zone on some john elway ish, 21-3lions.

Nuygent misses his 1st FG ever, mARVIN writes something down on his clipboard, probly a sandwich for halftime.

Halftime: we managed to save 2 timeouts for halftime instead of the 2 challenges mARVIN could used em on. Lions just executed the fasts field goal EVER 24-3....this is the lions mind you"

At this time i turned off my phone, started drinking (as tradition by halftime in cincinatti) and watched Jay Finley give me hope about an actual versatile back like every other team in the league has.

Ced - beast. as usual. stay healthy, learn to catch the ball. favorite comment "it's about how you take care of your body off the field, my off season starts with how i eat and what i put in my body." how many dui's??? 6....

O-Line, i'm sorry, and there's one cat on this site who gets mad props for being 100% o-line. i'ma leave it to you man, and as soon as i find your posts i'll give you a shotout.

This is my 1st post, ive been quiet for quite a while, i wanna thank my fellow bengals fans for stating my emotions and thoughts in an almost psychic manner sometimes. this is one topic howver that i felt needed to be addressed.

If anyone see's Dr. Evil Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Pete Brown, Paul Brown, Jim Lippincott, Duke Tobin, or anyone else coming out of a front office, please run up and kick them HARD in the shin!!! and if you see mARVIN, tell him that he needs to get back those 3 coaching assistants he paid to stand by him and make him look smart. My #1 contempt of mARVIN is that his fame and success came from being Greg Lloyd's coach in x-burg, then coached one of the greatest defenses ever with Ray Lewis, Sam Adams (hahaha), Rod Woodson, Chris McAlister, and Tony Siragusa. The man is scared, no, terrified to be great.

-fear and loathing in los angeles with love.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Cincy Jungle's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Cincy Jungle's writers or editors.

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