Experts Declare Cincinnati Bengals Doomed Sunday
by BeerRun on Sep 7, 2011 8:00 PM EDT
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No need to tune in on Sunday. The experts have spoken and the verdict is clear: the Cincinnati Bengals have no chance whatsoever against the Cleveland Browns in Week 1.
(OK, well, there is that one guy who picked ‘em. But you can ignore him because he’s, y’know, a blogger.)
This is, of course, despite the fact that the Browns are dealing with a new offense, a new defense, a new coach and significant personnel turnover of their own. Doesn’t matter, since all the experts agree: the 2011 Cincinnati Bengals are the worst team that has existed, exists or will exist in any sport at any time and in any place across the infinite reaches of this universe and all parallel dimensions.
Why? BecauseMikeBrownCarsonPalmerSHUTUP!!!that’swhy.
Never mind that the Bengals went 4-12 with Carson last season. Never mind his role in the 88.5-point swing against the team caused by interceptions last season. Never mind that ESPN’s precious new QB rating system declared Carson "average" in 2010. That’s all on-field stuff. Doesn’t matter. Because MikeBrownCarsonPalmerSHUTUP!!!
"And nobody thinks we’re going to be worth a damn this year, huh? So it’s great for us."
Yup. Now get out there and make it great for us here as well. I got plenty of crow on order and I don’t plan on eating it myself.
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People complaining
about being harshly criticized are equally annoying as those “experts”. I know we all have a sense of bizarre pride in this franchise, warts and all and like any child, we don’t like when people pick on our “father” but it’s warranted although, some of these “experts” have taken a bizarre sense of glee in their admonishing of the orange and black.
If players feel that the “disrespect” card is what it takes to motivate them, well, that saddens me that some professionals can’t motive themselves but go with it, if you must.
This season is going to happen. Let’s not quibble with the unnecessary anger, frustration, chest pounding “WHATTA THEY KNOW” declarations nor should we buckle and assume the position of impending doom, despair in clumsiness and shameful regret.
It's our family. We can criticize it, but the experts can eat a bag of crow** as far as I'm concerned.
- edited for the won’t somebody think of the children crowd
You can think of the children
by not subjecting them to Bengals football. Thanks a lot, DAD.
by KSE on Sep 7, 2011 8:26 PM EDT up reply actions
with regards to the first comment.
not the actual article
Yeh but if I stopped worrying what you guys said sometimes I'd just get bored of this place.
I come here for the commentary. If I wanted news, I’d go sulk around NFL.com and Bengals.com
I realize this isn’t your point, but I’m spinning it into a different direction of conversation.
How 'bout I just stop worrying about what you say?
All I’m saying is I don’t understand what your post was about. “Let’s not quibble with the unnecessary anger, frustration, chest pounding "WHATTA THEY KNOW" declarations nor should we buckle and assume the position of impending doom, despair in clumsiness and shameful regret.” What exactly should us fans do then?
nobody here (that is sane) is predicting playoffs.
8-8 to 4-12 seems reasonable considering how we’re offensively geared this year. bengals will have to control the clock, run the ball, use the screen often, and wait on any deep routes to open. ie: playing the west coast offense. our defense will be stronger against the run than the pass. if national sites want to pick the bengals as the worst team in the nfl, shrug, we’re not buying it.
" I for one, welcome our new Buffalo overlords. " - Whokebe
I don't wear a straight jacket
And I think we’re making the playoffs (11-5), but I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what happens.
Clearly I need to ask Josh to add a "Sarcasm" tag...
…or possibly a smiley or something. Earth to KSE, I’m not complaining about the experts. That’s as useful as spitting into the wind. I’m laughing at them. I thought the whole “Bengals are the worst team in the whole time/space/interdimensional continuum” would have communicated that, but oh well.
The criticism of the Bengals has, IMHO, gone over the line into parody over the last few days, and a lot of guys are going to end up backpedaling. The Bengals aren’t going to the Super Bowl, but they’re nowhere near as bad as they’re being made out to be.
by BeerRun on Sep 7, 2011 9:04 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Love the Post KSE and I Couldn't Agree More
To the players – use this endless stream of expert “disses” as motivation.
To the fans – be realistic the team finished 4-12 last season and lost some veterans.
To my kids (I have two) – pick another team to cheer on. I’m a hopless and loyal fan but you have no ties to this team… find a winner.
That said, I am looking forward to this Sunday because I am never as optimistic about our chances as I am on opening weekend! Who Dey!
by Skeleton Kees on Sep 7, 2011 10:22 PM EDT up reply actions
Find a winner?
What kind of parenting is that? Rooting for the Bengals builds character!
by Jaegner on Sep 8, 2011 11:14 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions
These are no experts...
The real experts are the guys over at WhoDeyFans and Josh and Jason from over here. I mean what did they pick the Bengals to do???
Most of these young guys are motivated,
This will all just either help them prove their worth, or kill the confidence they have.
by JoeskiBroski on Sep 7, 2011 8:28 PM EDT via iPhone app reply actions
Did anyone see this (see link)
http://rotoworld.com/player/nfl/6493/andy-dalton
What kind of crap reporting is this? Really?
you just sigh and start to enjoy it after awhile
" I for one, welcome our new Buffalo overlords. " - Whokebe
Yahoo Sports’ Jason Cole…….calls the quarterback situation a “major concern” in Cincinnati
As of now, Dalton hasn’t missed any throws and hasn’t thrown any INT’s.
If the Bengals’ QB situation was a major concern they would have done more than adding Zac Robinson to the practice squad.
It Probably Is Ridiculous, But...
Yahoo! Sports did break the Miami Hurricanes scandal. They are more credible with their facts than people give them credit for. If they are reporting a Palmer sighting or concerns about Dalton from the coaches I am not doubting it. I do doubt, however, that he will play for us again – so this is ultimately a moot point.
by Skeleton Kees on Sep 7, 2011 10:29 PM EDT up reply actions
Bengals exit Cleveland 1-0, it's just that simple.
On Sunday our offensive line can go blow for blow with their defensive line; their offensive cannot say the same. Our secondary can go blow-for-blow with their receiving corps; their secondary cannot say the same.
Hillis was a beast last year, but Rey Rey is healthy and hungry. I think Pressley makes a difference in our run game.
And finally, we’ll see how good Andy Dalton is… but pre-season convinced me that Gruden is an upgrade over Brat. Brat’s offense looks like it occasionally didn’t get installed in time. It was brittle, cumbersome and inflexible… making in-game adjustments both necessary and impossible. Gruden can keep his playbook in his head and seems to be able to make adjustments in real time.
Who Dey!
Why is the reply function not working?
is it just for me?
dont forget eric steinbach on injured reserve
and a redskin backup guard that got waived is starting on the brown’s o-line to fill in.
" I for one, welcome our new Buffalo overlords. " - Whokebe
Glad you brought this up. I think the loss of steinbach definitely hurts their run game. Pat Sims should have a nice game in the trenches
The official chili of the Cincinnati Bengals
by Gold Star Chili Cheese Fries on Sep 7, 2011 9:01 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
Was thinking the same
I watched some of cleveland’s preseason games and Taylor is a beast. Should be interesting to see how boling handles him.
Boling will handle him by getting help from Benson or Pressley
One big guy is not a major problem without someone else to worry about. The play action and screen pass on blitz pickups will help as will a strong running game. I am actually a bit more concerned about Livings but if our ones can handle the Jets and Colts ones I don’t think th e Browns pass rush will be game changing even with Bobby out. Lets face it Bobby is only slightly above average overall. Our DL will be in the Browns backfield more than the Browns DL will be in ours. Block ML and Dunlap will get you. Block Dunlap and ML will get you. Block both of them and Geno will get you, orr Rey blitzing up the middle. Their Oline is missing two starting linemen – not one.
"If we always agree, one of us is not necessary"
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