Five Stages of Grief for Bengals Fans: Anger

by Jason Garrison on Jan 8, 2012 2:00 PM EST

I WASN'T DREAMING!

All that stuff I said earlier about how that stuff is impossible, it turns out it's totally possible. I cannot begin to describe to you how angry I am. I'm beyond anger. I'm like punch small cute animals angry. I want to gather all the Bengals memorabilia in the world and burn it in a giant bonfire. I want to go to every player's house, pack their bags and move them all to Los Angeles so they can start to play there. I want to destroy the world.

This team sucks. I should have known this was going to happen. I'm so stupid for being a fan of this team in the first place. All they do is break your heart and kick you in the balls. Rey Maualuga played football like I used to when I was in sixth grade. I actually watched him step into a hole to stop the run and when he was met by the fullback he literally shied away from the hit and Arian Foster went on to run for a first down. How about shedding that block and making a play, you giant, long-haired baby?

Then I got to watch Adam Jones get beat so badly that he fell down, and the guy who beat him on the route was Andre Johnson, a 50-year-old receiver who sat out half the year because his hamstrings exploded. How is that possible? Oh, and where was Jones' help? Who knows, but since his help was Chris Crocker, I'd assume that he was laying on the ground somewhere. I'd rather have this Chris Crocker on my team than our Chris Crocker at this point.

Oh, and don't get me started on Foster's touchdown run. I don't think I've ever seen defense that bad. Crocker literally looked like he was blocking for Foster all the way down the field. Let's watch:

Ever seen anything like that? I don't think I have. I'm no athlete, especially compared to professional football players, but holy crap I bet I could at least give Foster a shove out of bounds on that play.

Seriously, I'm piling up all my Bengals stuff and I'm going to burn it. I'm done with this team.

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As a Bengal Fan

for over 40 years I have hope, finally. I don’t ask for much and I’m thankful for the direction the franchise has finally taken. In a nutshell, I’m thrilled.

by nohops on Jan 8, 2012 2:07 PM EST reply actions

Same here

They have a bright future and with two first-round picks in 2012, the sky’s the limit.

Editor at CincyJungle.com -- SB Nation Cincinnati Bengals blog.

Contributor at SBNation.com/NFL -- SB Nation NFL blog

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by Jason Garrison on Jan 8, 2012 2:12 PM EST up reply actions

it's two first round picks

not magic unicorns.

by occams_tiger_teeth on Jan 8, 2012 9:33 PM EST up reply actions

Lol

U think we can get unicorns?

by njbengalstat on Jan 9, 2012 8:49 AM EST up reply actions

Try a 3-hour car ride from Houston to Austin

With my GF, after sitting through that in person…I have a new team to hate, that’s for sure.

by Israeli on Jan 8, 2012 2:18 PM EST reply actions

Good riddance.

by BDFC on Jan 8, 2012 2:24 PM EST reply actions

uh...

Merry Who-Dey, everybody!!

by supergrover on Jan 8, 2012 3:21 PM EST reply actions

@jason

great post…you could have been my twin yesterday! but after a good nights sleep..i still love my Bengals! who dey!

by Billie Jarvis on Jan 8, 2012 3:25 PM EST reply actions

That play is definitely anger-inducing.

You can see Crocker leading with his shoulder to knock Foster out of bounds, and Foster just slows for a fraction of a second to avoid it. Crocker only needed to get his arms out to make a tackle, instead he goes for the big hit. We’ve had this problem with safeties before, and when it’s such a big game, it’s virtually unforgivable.

by Aether on Jan 8, 2012 3:26 PM EST reply actions

WHAT WAS U WATCHING HE DIDN’T FOR ANY HIT AT ALL. WAS WORST TACKLE ATTEMPT I’VE EVER SEEN. HE WAS SCARED OF ACTION LAST NIGHT.

by pray4gm11 on Jan 8, 2012 4:15 PM EST via mobile up reply actions

Right at the 21 yard line.

Just as he’s coming over. You’re right, it was a terrible attempt, but if you watch, you can see him try to shove Foster out. Problem is, he just complete misses Foster and ends up in front of him. Between that and Clements, this play is just disgusting.

by Aether on Jan 10, 2012 5:43 PM EST up reply actions

Line Struggle at key Situations

Ok yes their were some big blunders by our secondary but I was more than shocked at the huge dissapointment in the way both lines played. Livings looked lost and like he gave up on several plays, causing pressure on Andy. McGlyn disengaged Watt on a short passing play resulting in the interception. You need to stay engaged or try to cut him so his hands stay down. Finally Peko would get beat by the center and get washed out of plays. We need a DT who takes up 2 blockers, because the other three i feel can win 1 on 1 matchups. and that keeps a lineman off our LB’s. Furthermore Geno seemed like a beast playing nose and driving the C into the backfield to stop Foster for a loss of yards. Why did you move him.

by Bigline on Jan 9, 2012 1:20 PM EST reply actions