we are the 97%
by ephram on Feb 6, 2012 6:58 PM EST
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PrintEast Rutherford, NY (AP) - Protesters took to Stadium Road & Peripheral Road in East Rutherford New Jersey today to protest the unfair oppression being brought onto NFL football fans by the New York Giants. By virtue of winning the Super Bowl in Indianapolis Monday night, the Giants have placed themselves into the greedy class of selfish achievers known to the protesters as the 3%.
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One nice protester was willing to put down his Dallas Cowboys gear long enough to grant us a quick interview. He stated, "Through selfish acts like good drafting, good player acquisitions, good coaching and good play on the field, the New York Giants have greedily taken the Super Bowl title and Lombardi Trophy all for themselves". Many of the protesters voiced similar complaints against the 3%, and demanded equal sharing of the fruits of the Super Bowl victory.
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But despite the pleas of the protesters, the New York Giants refuse to share in the accolades of their Super Bowl victory, and therefore continue to oppress the 97% of teams that did not win the Super Bowl. What makes it worse, is that the Giants actually tried to win - meaning they intentionally sought to oppress the 97% and not allow them to share in the Giants' success. On the night of February 5th, members of the 3% could be seen hoisting the Lombardi trophy and having their picture taken with it - a clear mockery of the oppressed 97% indeed.
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"The Giants were braggardly showing off their oppression of us, the 97%", claimed a Seattle Seahawks fan. If the actions of the Giants weren't bad enough, not a single member of the lowly 97% were allowed to celebrate with the trophy or in the Super Bowl awards/honors. It's an outrage. It's unjust. How dare the 3% oppress the 97% like this and expect to get away with it? An overweight Cleveland Browns fan dressed with a dog mask lamented, "It's so unfair. The Giants beat teams and won the title. We never get to beat anybody when we play. It's unfair. The 3% are oppressing us!"
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Several Pittsburgh Steelers fans, wearing their terrible towels as bandands louly whined, "NFL fans unite! Take to the streets! End the injustice and demand your fair share of the Lombardi Trophy! We are the 97%!"
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fyi, for those not learned in higher mathematics:
1 / 32 = 3%
31 / 32 = 97%
This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Cincy Jungle's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Cincy Jungle's writers or editors.
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Learned in higher mathematics?
I’m learned enough in higher mathematics to know that 1/32 is actually much closer to 3% than 4%.
But seriously, I think the idea of this is pretty funny and I agree with the point you’re trying to make. Perhaps a little too political for the liking of the mods, but that isn’t my choice to make. I like the capitalist ideals you expressed; that isn’t nearly common enough these days.
Cincy Jungle: Where the Rocky Mountains are in the Pacific Ocean
The Giants won it fair and square
They succeeded in a system that’s a combination of safety-net socialism (revenue-sharing, salary cap, etc.) and private-sector innovation (teams are free to spend more for scouting, facilities, coaching, etc.), which mirrors the way our country has been since the ’30s.
For this to be accurate, the Giants would have to have 99% of the salary cap, with the other 31 teams having 1%.
Being a Bengals fan, I think that big-market teams do have some unfair advantages…but they also have to engage in things that are unfair for them, like helping to pay for incompetent teams.
I think the NFL is actually a good model for society: they enact policies that will ensure stability, regardless of how they affect the rich or the poor. It’s not really a traditional business, though, thanks to the antitrust exemption.
Further thoughts
Mike Brown is obviously on the lower rungs of society, in your model. Without revenue-sharing and the salary cap, he’d be doomed; the humanitarian thing is to keep the poor guy and his family from starving.
Also, the Giants would be able to change the rules…not just after the season, but during games! Through lobbyists, they could influence things in ways that would benefit them while the game was still ongoing (as our economic lives are all ongoing).
I don’t know, maybe some special-interest groups would feel bad for us and try to protect us.
by Big Sky Bengal on Feb 6, 2012 7:32 PM EST up reply actions
This sounds more like the Patriots. =)
Also, the Giants would be able to change the rules…not just after the season, but during games! Through lobbyists, they could influence things in ways that would benefit them while the game was still ongoing.
CoughSpyGateCough
by Animal_Like_Football on Feb 6, 2012 8:41 PM EST up reply actions
Thats old
"A team is more than a group of individuals,its a group of individuals that come together to make a team"
My little one was up all nite so i cant tell if this was a joke cuz in this day and age i wouldnt be surprised if it was true
I hopethis was a joke. Tried of all the freeloader crap
VOTE
"A team is more than a group of individuals,its a group of individuals that come together to make a team"
The guy giving out free rides is about to be there another 4 years
"A team is more than a group of individuals,its a group of individuals that come together to make a team"
Oh now i get ur comment. Man i hope he doesnt c another 4 years
All the colleges kids that first voted 4 him in the first term have graduated and the smoke and mirrors have cleared and realize it doesnt tranfer to the real world. Im still paying off my student loans from 9 years ago and he told them they wouldnt have to pay them back if he got elected. Ha. Hows that “Hope and Change” working out 4 ya!
and this is why I post the “keep yer effing…” out of my effing football.
No matter how much someone may agree, once there is a difference found, it becomes a sticking point. Misrepresent Bush slightly? Someone holds it. Misrepresent Obama slightly? Someone holds it.
It seems to be more of a sticking point on football boards than baseball or basketball, for some reason, which is why I get whingy when it comes up. Then I post the anti-reeses cup comment that always gets deleted.
Go Reds!
(and gooooo krogering)
I think Bush has been getting blamed for the last four years
Its time for Obama to take responsibility for his policies
I agree this has nothing to do with football,but you had the choice to not respond,and chose to put in
your 2 cents.
"A team is more than a group of individuals,its a group of individuals that come together to make a team"
you are right. I did respond. I didn’t put in 2 cents.
Respond as you please. I shan’t get into politics here. See how distracting it gets and I didn’t even discuss policy, just discussed how people discuss it on boards.
Go Reds!
(and gooooo krogering)
I agree. There is no room 4 politics at this site
However i was responding to the topic on fanpost which was about football and what craziness is goin on in the cities around the country
I realize this was meant as tounge-in-cheek humor, and I think it is quite funny
how about “I realize this was meant as tounge-in-cheek humor, but it fell quite flat”
Go Reds!
(and gooooo krogering)
Not really
Only to those who want free handouts,welfare,insurance,lifelong unemployment,free cell phone’s,free housing,free schooling
free food,i’m sure there’s plenty more i missed.
"A team is more than a group of individuals,its a group of individuals that come together to make a team"
not this time brother
"A team is more than a group of individuals,its a group of individuals that come together to make a team"
The 99% movement is about removing corporatism and lobbyists from politics.
Not asking for handouts. That’s just how Fox News spins it, rich people paying other rich people to tell middle class people to blame it all on poor people. Funny regardless though, very Onion.
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