East Rutherford, NY (AP) - Protesters took to Stadium Road & Peripheral Road in East Rutherford New Jersey today to protest the unfair oppression being brought onto NFL football fans by the New York Giants. By virtue of winning the Super Bowl in Indianapolis Monday night, the Giants have placed themselves into the greedy class of selfish achievers known to the protesters as the 3%.
One nice protester was willing to put down his Dallas Cowboys gear long enough to grant us a quick interview. He stated, "Through selfish acts like good drafting, good player acquisitions, good coaching and good play on the field, the New York Giants have greedily taken the Super Bowl title and Lombardi Trophy all for themselves". Many of the protesters voiced similar complaints against the 3%, and demanded equal sharing of the fruits of the Super Bowl victory.
But despite the pleas of the protesters, the New York Giants refuse to share in the accolades of their Super Bowl victory, and therefore continue to oppress the 97% of teams that did not win the Super Bowl. What makes it worse, is that the Giants actually tried to win - meaning they intentionally sought to oppress the 97% and not allow them to share in the Giants' success. On the night of February 5th, members of the 3% could be seen hoisting the Lombardi trophy and having their picture taken with it - a clear mockery of the oppressed 97% indeed.
"The Giants were braggardly showing off their oppression of us, the 97%", claimed a Seattle Seahawks fan. If the actions of the Giants weren't bad enough, not a single member of the lowly 97% were allowed to celebrate with the trophy or in the Super Bowl awards/honors. It's an outrage. It's unjust. How dare the 3% oppress the 97% like this and expect to get away with it? An overweight Cleveland Browns fan dressed with a dog mask lamented, "It's so unfair. The Giants beat teams and won the title. We never get to beat anybody when we play. It's unfair. The 3% are oppressing us!"
Several Pittsburgh Steelers fans, wearing their terrible towels as bandands louly whined, "NFL fans unite! Take to the streets! End the injustice and demand your fair share of the Lombardi Trophy! We are the 97%!"
fyi, for those not learned in higher mathematics:
1 / 32 = 3%
31 / 32 = 97%
What did i think of the fanpost?
I realize this was meant as tounge-in-cheek humor, and I think it is quite funny (17 votes)
I realize this was meant to be funny, but Mike Brown still runs the Bengals, so i'm not in a mood to tolerate attempts at funny (7 votes)
As a liberal i'm offending by everything and will hijack this fanpost to promote my ideology (4 votes)
Next year the Bengals will be the 4% ! ! ! (4 votes)
Funny? This is on the internet, so it has to be a legit news story, right? (4 votes)
36 total votes