If you watch football then you know that you can't help but be indundated with commercial after commercial, some of which are more corny and cheesy than others. One that springs to mind is the Subway commercial featuring Justin Tuck, Jarvis Jones and RGIII. Cringeworthy dialogue aside, I noticed that the teams that the three players in this commercial belong to have a combined win-loss record of 2-14.
There can clearly only be one explanation for all this - Subway is giving key NFL players doctored sandwiches to negatively affect their performance in the hope that their teams bomb, fans become disillusioned and the team relocates to Connecticut.
(Or it could be that they happened to pick spokespeople from teams that are underachieving this year but I feel that my theory is far more rational.)