FanPost

Firefly + Bengals = Wow? Did you know, the Firefly Characters are actually on the Cincy Bengals?

One decade ago, the television series Firefly was cancelled after 1 brief season. Since then, those characters have been roaming the galaxy looking for work. They finally found it – with the Cincinnati Bengals. It may be hard to believe, but they’ve all been brought into the NFL, and mostly with the Bengals. Rumors have it that Mike Brown was the one who got Firefly cancelled so he could bring the cast into his team. Here are the Firefly characters, and the Bengals players that we know them by today... ************************* Mal Reynolds "Sometimes you just wanna duct tape her mouth and dump her in the hold for a month." Andrew Whitworth Been there since the beginning, when the browncoats were getting their butts kicked. Loyal, dependent, the guy you want to have your back in a fight. A leader. Zoe Washburne "Well, at least they covered 'Dropping your weapon so you can eat beans and get yourself shot'." Reggie Nelson It took a while to find Zoe, until I looked for the physical characteristics. Similar build. Similar hair. Hoban Washburne "A man walks down the street in that hat; people know he's not afraid of anything" Kyle Cook Got to find somebody to fly the ship. Wash was better than the alternatives. He needs quality time with his dinosaur toys. Got to find somebody to snap the ball. Cook was better than the alternatives. But it’s time to let him go the way of the dinosaur, and get an upgrade. Inara Serra "The small concealable weapons always go to the far left of the place setting" Andy Dalton Inara will disappear and do her thing, and then comes back. Kind of an unspoken leader that some look to for her calm demeanor. Dalton will disappear in the big games and playoffs, and then comes back big against the lousy teams. Kind of a leader since he’s the QB. Jayne Cobb "Ten percent of nuthin' is...let me do the math here...nuthin' into nuthin'...carry the nuthin'..." Taylor Mays With all those weapons he’s packing, one would expect more of a role from Jayne. With all those physical attributes that Mays offers, one would expect more of a role from Mays. Kaylee Frye "With me? You mean to say...sex?" AJ Green Kaylee isn’t a trained mechanic, but just nautrally gifted. She can always make it work. AJ Green is a naturally figted receiver who can always make the tough catch on bad passes and underthrows. Dr Simon Tam "Now River, stay behind the others. If there's fighting, you drop to the floor and run away. It's okay to leave them to die." Rey Maualuga The good doctor just kind of misses out on everything, and nobody seems to want him around anymore. Rey just kind of misses on every tackle, and no fans seem to want him around anymore. River Tam Geno Atkins At first, River didn’t seem like much but a strange little girl. Turns out she’s a kick-@$$, powerful weapon. At first, Geno didn’t seem like much, falling to the 4th round and starting all of 1 game his first year. But has become a kick-@$$, powerful weapon on the defensive line. Sheperd Book Carlos Dunlap The character who just kind of hangs around in the background, wondering half the time if they forgot to write him some lines in the script. The Defensive End who just kind of hangs around on the sideline wondering half the time if they forgot to switch him in for Robert Geathers. Others.... Reavers Steelers & Ravens & Browns The reavers are rapists (Ben) and murderers (Ray) and just plain losers (Browns). This one’s pretty obvious. Serenity Brandon Ghee / Dontay Moch Always breaking down, needing repairs. The Alliance ESPN Always playing favorites, looking for a reason to put the good guys down. Firefly’s second season The Bengals’ indoor training facility Neither exist. Opening theme song Bengal Growl "Take my love. Take my land. Take me where I cannot stand..." "Hear that Bengal growlin’, mean and ang-a-ree..." ************************* I did one of these a year and a half ago for Star Wars (Nov 1st, 2011). Seeing a recent redo of it done for some zombie movie (I forget the title. Maybe it was "Waking the Dead?" or something like that), I figured it was time that Firefly got its due. For those who have seen Firefly, no explanation is necessary. For those who have not seen Firefly, no explanation is possible. !

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Cincy Jungle's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Cincy Jungle's writers or editors.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Cincy Jungle

You must be a member of Cincy Jungle to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Cincy Jungle. You should read them.

Join Cincy Jungle

You must be a member of Cincy Jungle to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Cincy Jungle. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker