In in the 1,966th year of our Lord, God looked down on Cincinnati and said, "I need an NFL team here."
So God made a Bengals’ fan.

God said, "I need somebody willing to get up before dawn, read up on all the Bengals’ news, work all day, then catch up on more Bengal’s news and visit Cincy Jungle, and stay up past midnight contributing productive comments and posts to the Bengals’ community."
So God made a Bengals’ fan.

God said, "I need somebody excitable enough to enjoy 2 Super Bowls in the 1980’s, and patient enough to endure Mike Brown’s seemingly intentional destruction of the team throughout the 1990’s. I need somebody able to smile when his team steals guys like TJ Houshmandzadeh and Geno Atkins in the draft, but yet keep heart when his team selects David Klingler, Akili Smith, and a host of other draft busts."
So God made a Bengals’ fan.

"I need somebody with passion strong enough to watch the underwear Olympics and create their own mock draft, and recite from memory every draft pick over the last half decade, and know the names of each starter & backup on the current roster. I need somebody who knows what it means when Andre Smith has ‘sand in his pants’, when Kevin Zeitler is praised for ‘working well in a phone booth’, when Michael Johnson is said to have a ‘good motor’, and when Vontaze Burfict is being renamed from ‘Sam’ to a ‘Mike’.
So God made a Bengals’ fan.

God said, "I need somebody who knows what an ‘Ickey Shuffle’ is, who knows what the phrase 'Who Dey?' means, and realizes that the Saints 'who dat' is a cheap immitation. I need somebody who feels a sense of betrayal when the word ‘Carson’ is spoken, and who mistakenly thinks that Free Agency is when you lose your best players, not when you add great players. I need somebody who remembers Chad Johnson as a great receiver before his last name became a Spanish fraction. And who remembers Chris Henry, may he rest in peace."
So God made a Bengals’ fan.

God said, "I need somebody willing to sit up all night watching a playoff game. And watch them lose, then dry his eyes and say, ‘Maybe next year.’ I need somebody who can enjoy a beer at the game without turning into a Cleveland fan tossing junk onto the field. And who can recite the lyrics to the ‘Bengal Growl’ song from memory. I need somebody who feels it a requirement to always carry at least one token Bengal on their fantasy football team."
So God made a Bengals’ fan.

God said, "I need somebody strong enough to stare down obnoxious Steeler’s fans, yet gentle enough to have pity on poor, unfortunate Browns’ fans. Brave enough to stand for 3 hours in freezing temperatures, yet cool enough to endure the heat of a scorching summer scrimmage. Somebody to finish a hard week’s work with a five-mile drive to church, followed by watching the Bengals’ game. Somebody who’d bind a family together with the excited bonds of cheering, who would root and then sigh, and then reply, with smiling eyes, when his son says he wants to spend his life ‘rooting for who dad does.’"
So God made a Bengals’ fan.