Evaluating QBs in the only department that matters

So when trying to evaluate QBs and how effective they will be through their career in the NFL, there is only one thing that needs to be examined closely: their names. Though this may seem obvious to many, there are likely some people who may not understand the complexities of this evaluation method. So I'll go over what you ideally look for in a the name of the man you want running your franchise.

The first thing you want is something slightly off from overly common, and this could be in the first or last name or a combination both. Drew Brees, Cam Newton, Matt Stafford, Joe Flacco, Nick Foles, Tony Romo, Geno Smith, the list goes on. Each of these have either an uncommon first or last name, but it's easy to recognize that they aren't too far off the reservation. Even though it's kind of novel, you can see how the name works. These are solid NFL QBs who have developed into quality starters. Ben Rothlisberger falls into this category, but he was a gamble. The Ben part worked well enough to support the Rothlisberger, and this is obviously reflected in his game. The guys who busted out of the league with names like these are rare (*research pending). Oh Matt Leinart, what didn't you throw away with your boyish good looks and hot tub escapades.

The next category is the guys who have more common names that you've probably heard fairly commonly, but maybe not together. Aaron Rogers, Tom Brady, Russell Wilson, Philip Rivers. These guys have names you can count on. This is why Andy Dalton has a spot in the league and likely will for some time. Alex Smith is obviously consistent, but he is almost too bland. If the "x" in his name was actually a "c", he would likely have lived up to his first overall billing, but let's face it, that was a huge scouting error and hardly his fault. Sam Bradford will likely face a similar fate. Robert Griffin would likely have been in the playoffs, but the III just puts far too much pressure on the first two names to carry that extra weight.

Then there are the guys who went way away from normal and got away with it. Eli and Peyton Manning, Kyle Orton, Colin Kaepernick, Rex Grossman. Obviously these are huge boom or bust candidates, but there is a subtle art to this if you are going to go this route, and that's the "coolness" factor associated with the name. Peyton Manning is miles cooler than Eli, and if Peyton hadn't made Manning cool then Eli may have never worked at all. Kaepernick is pretty bad ass, but the jury is still out on the Colin part. That could end up ruining his career. Blaine Gabbert , Kyle Orton and Rex Grossman are obviously on the losing end of this scale. This is why Blake Bortles should be considered undraftable. Elway and Marino were obviously destined for greatness.

Finally, the last consideration in evaluating QBs on this metric; never have the QB's name actually correspond with a word in the English language. Vince Young, Ryan Mallet, Ryan Leaf, Tim Couch, Christian Ponder, Jake Locker. It's pretty much the kiss of death. David Carr nearly pulled away from this category, but it is just too easy for kids to misspell car when they are learning, and you never know how those from the UK will spell something. Derek Carr may not fare much better, while Teddy Bridgewater is close here, though the fact that it is actually two real words together to make it a nonsense thing might save him. I would still not use very high of a pick on him as it seems to be asking for trouble.

There is one exception to this rule, and that is when the meaning of the word corresponds well with the team's logo that they play for. Luck obviously fits well with the team's horseshoe logo, while Rivers and lightning are a natural fit. Montana is a name either way, person or state, so this has nothing to do with this metric. Brady was a cultural symbol recognized by patriots, and some analysts argue that this helped his game considerably. The Steelers, Giants and 49ers have no reason to ever draft by this strategy being that their logos depict absolutely nothing meaningful and therefore do no correspond well with things that actually exist.

To me, this year's draft class boils down to a clear cut #1 overall pick; Johnny Manziel. Hopefully he goes with John at the pro level, but the Manziel part has the odd but cool factor going for him. AJ McCarron is fairly unknown being that he is using his initials, and EJ Manuel is the only other QB in history to use his initials instead of his name (*research yet to be completed). Tahj Boyd is way too far out there, and I'm not sure you can get much worse than Zach Mettenbergher or Jimmy Garrapolo in terms of the cool factor. Logan Shaw, Keith Price and Tom Savage would fail in most organizations, unless Savage gets drafted by the Raiders or Vikings while Price would have a solid chance on the Cowboys or Patriots. Brock Jensen would represent a solid risk as that is a solidly cool name, while Logan Thomas, David Fales and Aaron Murray all represent solid draft options.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Cincy Jungle's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Cincy Jungle's writers or editors.

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