I remember someone asking about this a long time ago, and I just saw a write-up on it on another SBNation blog, so I thought I'd share. There is finally a way to change your username. Instructions are here:
http://blog.sbnation.com/2014/7/1/5860864/username-changes-on-sb-nation-just-got-a-whole-lot-easier
So now sexsalad can become sexsteak, SCBengalFan can become NCBengalFan, and Mismanagement can be PrudentManagement. Good times.
Welp, I need more letters. Hello to anyone who highlights this. How are you? I'm good. Oh look, I'm talking to myself. I must be crazy.