I am thirty years old.  Born in August of 1979, I lived in Hamilton, Ohio until I was nine years old at which time we moved up here to the Mahoning Valley.  The first year we lived as transplants to the geographical center between Cleveland and Pittsburgh was a fantastic year to be a fan of Cincinnati Sports.  We had hardly moved into our house when we sat down in our new family room and watched the Bengals represent the AFC in Super Bowl XXIII.  The next summer I gloated to all of my middle-school friends as the Cincinnati Reds swept the Oakland A's in the World Series. 

After that, well, it hasn't been so great.

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The enthusiasm, the emotional build-up to Saturday's Wild-Card game is now completely out of hand.  It's to the point that when I begin to think of the game, the faint tympani drums and violins of Sam Spence's orchestra and the NFL Films music creep into my subconscious.  I can already see the slow-motion shots of a bundled up crowd breathing clouds of hot air onto each other and spilling the beers that those winter gloves have such a hard time grasping.  It will be everything that January football should embody; brutal elements, a crazed and frostbitten crowd, and two teams with nothing to lose.  

In fact, it might help to read the rest of this piece using the internal narration of the legendary voice of NFL Films: John Facenda.

Paul Brown Stadium will not be a soft or comfortable place for anyone on that day; single-digit point totals seem almost as likely as a single-digit windchill.  The Bengals and the Jets are close cousins, each seeming to belong to the football version of the Neanderthal tribe.  Their methods are basic: run the ball, play good defense, use clock, and win with field goals, but each is considered ill-equipped to deal with the advanced modern-man prototypes of San Diego or Indianapolis.  

The cavemen then will clobber one another on Saturday until one of them can no longer stand up, and the winner will drag its club away to face their supposed evolutionary doom in a more pleasing climate.

As to the question of who's club is bigger between them, it depends from which end of the spectrum you are looking.   

From the Jets end, it appears they are mightier in their strengths: a better ranked defense, a more productive ground attack, and a more reliable offensive line.  Throw in the fact that New York just finished up mopping the deck with Bengals last week, and the Jets club looks pretty sizable indeed.

The Bengals, however, have the intangibles of a better quarterback and better receiving corps thanks to Chad Ochocinco alone.  Every category the Jets dominate Cincinnati ranks closely behind and the Bengals will enjoy an influx of healthy starters this week who sat in that forgettable event last Sunday night.  Therefore, the Bengals seem to walk with a big stick too.

Choosing a winner in this game comes down to how much stock one puts into things like a rookie quarterback from California struggling in the cold, or an offense repeating a performance where they appeared completely bewildered just six days before.

Analytically speaking, though, the Bengals have the edge because of Carson Palmer.  

That seems like a ridiculous claim after watching the worst game of his pro career against these very same Jets, but he's the most disparaging advantage in the match-up on paper and in reality.  

The running attack of each of these teams are too close to call.  New York can point to numbers but from where I'm standing, the running game was effective enough to get both teams into the playoffs.  The Bengals get a fresh Cedric Benson which certainly can't hurt their chances, and Bernard Scott can go back to being the complimentary back where he excels.  If the game becomes a pound-the-run extravaganza like most expect, than even Larry Johnson would likely get some action.  Cincinnati has the offensive personnel to win on the ground, they just need to show that they can do it.

Of course, there is a nightmarish force which threatens all of that.  The Jets defense is a relentless wild boar standing in the way of Cincinnati achieving any of its offensive goals; it's angry and it's violent.  Rex Ryan has his men eating gunpowder and LSD, and will once again whip them into a frenzy and unleash these hell hounds onto the field to smash the striped helmets standing along the other sideline.   It's R-rated; 18 and over.  

Their primary concern is stopping the run.  They don't mind feeding their blitz addiction on any play and they trust General Revis and his secondary to go it alone against opposing receivers.  Pass-protection will be key in this game.  If Palmer has time, he can find Ochocinco who can still compete with Revis despite all that has happened this season.  I also think Cincinnati likes the match-up of Andre Caldwell deep against Lito Sheppard.  Marvin Lewis has said how impressed he's been with Caldwell's straight-line speed and if New York gives safety help to Chad's side, Caldwell could be in position to make a big play---something that will surely be a premium in this kind of game.

The supporting cast of Caldwell, Laveranues Coles and even J.P. Foschi must make positive plays, especially on third down.  Drops cannot occur, penalties need to be limited, interceptions have to be avoided.  Self-imposed mistakes have been an unsightly blemish to this otherwise strong team all season long; a trait that does not exist within the repertoire of a champion.  If the passing game is to strike much in this Wild-Card showdown, these secondary characters will have to share some of the spot light.

On the other side of things, the Jets offense is a bit more limited.  They've relied heavily on the consistency of their running game and have employed creative ways to enhance it even further with the exotic plays run by wide out Brad Smith as quarterback.  Smith burned the Bengals badly last week on an option-keeper and looks right at home running the play typically reserved for the college ranks; he also ran it effectively against the Falcons and Colts in the preceding weeks.  Over the course of the season Cincinnati has held up well against the traditional running attacks, but have had a difficult time adjusting to anything considered gadgety or sneaky.  Limiting explosive plays on the ground is the top priority for the Bengals defense this week.

The reason the Jets are limited is because of  their passing game.  They try to avoid it as much as they can.  Everyone knows that it's a weakness, but teams have to fight through New York's running game to even get to that level of attack.  Putting pressure on Mark Sanchez is an obvious goal for every defense that faces the Jets.  He's a rookie having a rookie season, but he's surrounded with such a quality team that his inexperience and sometimes poor play has been shrouded.   The idea for the Bengals is to put Sanchez into throwing downs, apply heat on the blitz and allow a top-notch cornerback tandem to go to work.  Turnovers will likely determine the outcome of this game the most, and the focus in that category will be on Sanchez.  

Protecting Carson Palmer against the blitz and forcing third-and-medium scenarios on defense are the keys to a Bengal victory.  

No one believes in either of these primates and each are out to earn some respect.  Brute force and a tolerance to the cold will play their parts, but the team who can strategically adapt will win the game.  The Bengals have something like an opposeable thumb and apparently a larger club, and therefore, they win and move on.   

Bengals 20, Jets 9
 

Mojokong---riding my mastodon to the game this week.

When I weigh the differences between the Jets and Bengals, I'm finding more similarities between these teams. Philosophically, both teams produce a strong defense and lethal rushing offense. Defensively the Bengals rank 4th and the Jets are first. Cincinnati's rushing defense ranks seventh and the Jets rank eighth. Cincinnati's passing defense ranks sixth and the Jets are first. Cincinnati's scoring defense ranks sixth and the Jets are first. Cincinnati's offense ranks 24th and the Jets rank 20th. Both teams have a top-ten rushing offense and defensively, hold the opposing quarterback to a rating under 74 points. Sunday's 0-37 loss reduced the similarities because the Jets were in the middle of an elimination game whereas Cincinnati was more concerned with not showing their hand, or hoping to prevent any major injuries.

Still, Saturday's game is drawing some concern from fans simply because of the discrepancy of Sunday's score and the futile nature of Cincinnati's desire to at least produce. A loss is one thing. A 37-point loss? Yea, there are concerns. Let's go through them.

Will injury or health pose problems? No unit on the Bengals defense has been safe lately, greatly affected by injury that's shown a slight break in the team's armor that once ranked second in the league against the run and, at one point this season, had the best scoring defense. Domata Peko missed the final five regular season games and three of the past four games, the Bengals gave up 142 yards (Minnesota), 123 yards (Kansas City) and 257 yards (Jets). In the 11 games before Peko went down, the Bengals rush defense had only allowed two teams to rush for 100 yards or more.

Rey Maualuga fractured his ankle and will miss the rest of the season, as will Pat Sims. Chris Crocker has missed four of the past five games and the one game that he did play against the Vikings, he was ineffective and still clearly hurt. Peko and Crocker are now practicing and say they're ready.

ALICE IN CHAINS TRIBUTE: More men in the box? Your Bengals defensive coordinator Mike Zimmer and your defense had just allowed 257 yards rushing to the Jets, the most yards allowed in the two-year tenure as the team's defensive coordinator. More disturbing is the four rushing touchdowns allowed and that three different players recorded 60 yards rushing or more. To put it in perspective, the Jets systematically dropped the Bengals rush defense from second in the league (87.7 yards rushing allowed) to seventh by adding over ten yards to the team's average through 15 games.

Defensive starters out against the Jets last week: Chris Crocker, Robert Geathers, Domata Peko, Rey Maualuga.

In the same game, quarterback Mark Sanchez completed eight of 16 passes for 63 yards for a pedestrian 60.2 passer rating. Furthermore, Sanchez has often been criticized for his propensity to throw interceptions.

Likely Cincinnati will look to stop the run, stop the run again, find a cure for ebola and then worry about Sanchez, who has 20 interceptions this year. Leon Hall and Johnathan Joseph can match up against the Jets receivers while the Bengals cheat Ndukwe or Crocker to the line of scrimmage. It's necessary because if the Bengals go through the beating they received last week, then the Queen in the Queen City will send bolts of super-charged lightening across the area. And if the Bengals can slow, even stop, the Jets rushing offense, then Cincinnati is more than likely playing the following week.

How will Cincinnati's offense respond? The first meeting between the teams that threw everything into the fire for the final playoff spot and the team seeking a little rest from the wicked offense of the injury gods, the Jets defense (and apparently the elements and "sober" Jets fans) held Cincinnati to 72 yards of total offense; all of which were on the ground. Carson Palmer and J.T. O'Sullivan completed a combined four of 19 passes for 31 yards and an interception. Disastrously mentioned, if we include the three sacks for 31 yards lost, the Cincinnati's passing offense finished the game with zero net yards. But things like that happen when you only convert one of 11 third downs, score zero points during two redzone appearances and gain nine yards in your first six offensive possessions (14 yards if you include a penalty). Oh, then there's two fumbles, three quarterback sacks, dropped passes, and an interception.

As much as I'd like to harp on the bad that came from Cincinnati's offense last Sunday, there are things to consider. Such as the absence of Cedric Benson, who is one of the team's best offensive weapons. Or asking players to, you know, catch the football. Perhaps a vanilla offensive game plan resulted in confusion, or uncertainty with the offensive line, the timing of the receivers and the confidence of the quarterback to know where his guys would be.

Either way, what happened last Sunday did happen. No matter how much we spin Sunday's loss into a positive (five points for anyone that actually can), no matter how hard we try to justify it, we can only speculate that the team didn't perform because of some maddening scientist concocting chemicals for everlasting life. In other words, no amount of speculation will dull the effects of Sunday's loss until the team comes out and fires on all cylinders out of the gate.

You know the world is ending when: Daniel Coats caught more passes than Chad Ochocinco and Andre Caldwell combined.

The return of Cedric Benson will turn the tide, only if there's redzone production. If I were to hand out awards for the end of the season, I'd still be hard pressed to decide the MVP. I believe that Carson Palmer deserves a look because many of our wins this season are engineered come from behind victories, led by sick third down passes and fourth down scrambles. However, the team's best offensive weapon was out against the Jets last week and thus fans have a hard time applying any seriousness to the 0-37 loss during the regular season finale.

When Benson plays and performs, carrying the football 20 times or more, the Bengals are 6-1 -- the lone loss being against the Denver Broncos during week one -- and the three games that Benson carried the football 30 times or more, the Bengals won by ten points or more.

On the other hand, Benson hasn't scored a touchdown since the first quarter against the Baltimore Ravens on November 8 -- a stretch of 23 straight quarters during games in which Benson started. In the 22 redzone appearances since, the Bengals have scored seven touchdowns in a total collapse going from one of the league's best red zone offenses through the first half of the season to field goal satisfied campers.

Keys to Saturday are simple. They are the same keys that's applied all season. First key, score more points than the other team. Second key, stop the Jets rushing offense. Third key, gain yards on first and second down to make third down conversions more manageable. This has been the soul of the Bengals this season.

If you guys want to watch the Bengals play Detroit on TV Sunday, you better tell your rich friends to buy up the rest of the remaining tickets, otherwise, all of us will be running around, screaming for active streams. Thanks to the 24-hour extension, there's still time to act.

Who knows?  Maybe Ocho or perhaps Kroger can again salvage Cincinnati's 50-straight regular season sell out streak (Alliteration For The Win!).  Or hell, how about everybody's favorite anti-hero, Larry Johnson?  He's still got that Kansas City money and since he's so eager to turn over a new leaf and show everybody just how awesome he really is, this is the perfect opportunity to do so.

If LJ can help us avoid a blacked-out game, I might even come off of my high horse about him.  Doubtful, but there's certainly a chance.

Now that the Cincinnati Bengals have their running game humming along at a good pace -- one that's bound to improve now that Ced the Pred is back -- Chad wants the Bob Bratkowski to throw a bone, and the ball, to the receivers a little bit more.

If, by a little bit, I mean 50 times a game, that is.

In what is being deemed as joke by the Bengals.com writers, Chad actually did say something along the lines of "now that running game is going, it's time to start passing the receivers the ball more."  Taking the approach that winning cures all ills -- something Chad himself indicated on his Twitter account -- Chad mentioned the staff couldn't ignore the receivers for three games in a row:

"I'm not going to let them treat us like that for three straight games," he said of his receivers. "We won the game. We had a wonderful day on the ground. Bernard Scott and Larry Johnson played extremely well. I asked for us to run the ball. This basically solidifies us being able to run the ball right now. It helps us once we do get to the playoffs.

"Now next week things are going to have to change. The roles need to be reversed. I'm speaking on behalf of myself and the receiving corps. We would like to throw the ball 50 times. I just want to relay that message."

Granted, after a two week accumulation of seven receptions for 105 yards, a total he can achieve in one half of football, I could understand Chad wanting the ball more.  Thankfully, he's not going about it in an "I'll undermine the team" way and is making jokes about it.

Obviously, even Ocho knows the only way the Bengals will throw the ball over 50 times is if they are down by a bunch of points and a Carson Palmer-style air-it-out fest is the only way to get back in the game.  However, while the comments came off as playful, I have zero doubt Chad wants to see the ball thrown his way a little bit more.

Furthermore, he hasn't had a touchdown since his two scores against the Chicago Bears.  This means if he wants to exhaust the money he set aside for fines, he needs to find his way to the end zone a few more times before the season ends.

I, for one, have no problem admitting I miss seeing his touchdown celebrations.

Oh, and yes, that is Ocho's foot getting a massage.  Considering how important feet are to receivers, I found that picture quite fitting.

Cleveland Browns quarterback Brady Quinn had a big game against the Detroit Lions last week, throwing for 304 yards passing, four touchdowns and no interceptions. His 133.1 passer rating is a career high, second to the 104.3 he recorded against the Broncos in the third week of the 2008 season. Was Quinn's performance against the Lions a precursor towards a greater NFL career than he was on pace for? Was his performance benefited by passing against the league's worst passing defense? Or was it just a matter of fluke plays?

Regardless, don't expect the same performance against the Bengals this Sunday. In the past three games, Cincinnati's passing defense has allowed only an average 163 yards passing, a 52% completion percentage, four interceptions against two touchdowns and eight sacks (they were shutout against the Raiders).

With potential Pro Bowl cornerbacks in Leon Hall and Johnathan Joseph, the Bengals have a good nickel corner in Trent Morgan, who failed to prevent the game-tying touchdown against the Raiders. Even so, Morgan has a good body of work over the course of the entire season. Rounded out with solid safety play with Chinedum Ndukwe and Chris Crocker, this secondary is a group that doesn't easily allow receivers to run free.

Aside from sacks, the Bengals passing defense has played as well in the last three games as they've played all season. Their yards allowed is down to season lows, their completion percentage allowed is down, as is first downs allowed.

With Brady expected to start, all I can say is, thank god. Derek Anderson has a career 2-2 record starting against the Bengals in his career.

His numbers aren't mind-blowing by any stretch of the imagination. But in each of his four starts, Anderson was always a threat, keeping Cleveland close enough in the end that their losses were within a five points or less. This year, when the Bengals barely beat Cleveland 23-20, Anderson recorded career highs in yards passing (269), completions (26), passer rating (68.8) and yards per attempted pass (5.60).

With Quinn starting, and the Bengals secondary playing as well as they have all season, don't expect Cleveland's passing offense to do much. In fact, if I were a homer Bengals fan, I'd say that the Bengals defense will play their best game of the season. If I were a homer.

If you've been out shopping after yesterday's feast, you were not alone. Our hero, Chad Ochocinco, was with you in spirit as well.  I just want to say, that's a damn smart Snuggie, Chad.  Well done.  And look, it was only $5 as well.  Did you get yours?

After Ocho's got finished chasing good sales, it was on to practice and preperation for the Cleveland Browns.

Here's hoping the Oakland loss still stings to the point where the Bengals take out all their frustrations out on Brady Quinn and company.  In other news, is it me, or does Chad look like one of the Tusken Raiders from Star Wars?

H/t to Sports Pros(e) for the find.

The date was October 15, 2006. The weather was a warm 77 degrees at kickoff, with light winds. The game featured the 3-1 Cincinnati Bengals and the 0-4 Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The Buccaneers quarterback, Bruce Gradkowski, was making his second NFL start. With Cincinnati leading 13-7 and 4:21 left in the game, the Gradkowski led Buccaneers offense takes the field. After converting a first down, Tampa Bay lined up at the Bengals 32-yard line. What happened next is bound to be etched in the memory of many Bengals fans. Since I got the way-back machine out yesterday for our Chris Henry piece, I figure, why not reference an old entry during Cincy Jungle's first year in existence.

But the bigger controversy was Justin Smith's roughing the passer. Smith wrapped up Bruce Gradkowski, who lowered his head, hitting the ground with the top of his helmet. Gradkowski lost the ball and I put my arms up thinking this game was over. But since Smith tried to tackle the quarterback - which is illegal - the Bengals were penalized 15 yards; Tampa Bay scored the winning touchdown a few plays later.

I understand the idea of protecting helpless children, women and quarterbacks. Let's be honest though, hard knocks are what injures quarterbacks; not being rolled onto your head or the extension of arms. A cornerback, safety or linebacker, with a full head of steam, will devastate a Quarterback's body (Google the Ohio State Buckeyes and Drew Stanton... or Chris Simms). It took until this off-season to make a rule that defensive players couldn't shred the knee of a quarterback. Smith's sack was minimal in scope to the health of the quarterback but monumental in scope to the game.

The penalty not only pushed the Buccaneers to the Cincinnati 25-yard line, but Cincinnati lost a fumble recovery which would have likely sealed the game. The Bengals couldn't stop the offense after that, even though Tampa Bay was forced to make a third-and-13 conversion -- which they did on fourth down when Gradkowski completed an eight-yard touchdown pass to Mark Clayton. Game over.

Peter King wrote at the time, "... HORRENDOUS roughing-the-passer call in Tampa, giving the Bucs good field position as they drive, with a Toledo Rocket at quarterback, Bruce Gradkowski, to try to beat the hanging-on-for-dear-life Bengals at the Pirate Ship." And Justin Smith said at the time, "That was the ballgame," Smith said. "There was no whistle call, nothing like that to stop the play. I didn't slam him (or) pick him up. He doubled over, went down and fumbled the ball."

Why bring all of this up, you ask? For one, I can. For two, the Bengals will be seeing Gradkowski again this weekend in Oakland.

The Oakland Raiders benched former No. 1 overall pick JaMarcus Russell on Wednesday, handing the starting job to journeyman Bruce Gradkowski for the foreseeable future.

Coach Tom Cable made the announcement of the change following practice as the Raiders (2-7) prepare to play the Cincinnati Bengals on Sunday. Cable said this was not a temporary move, that his plan is to stick with Gradkowski.

"I don't want to be like that," he said. "This is where we're headed and what we're going to do. He'll take this team and go with it."

If the Bengals bring their best game to Oakland, I don't see this as remotely being a problem. Cincinnati, I believe, is fielding the best overall team this year compared to the entire Marvin Lewis era. And the players are well aware of the implications of playing a 2-7 team. However, sometimes the football gods mix it up a little. And they did that weekend in 2006. When the 3-1 Cincinnati Bengals lost to the 0-4 Tampa Bay Buccaneers.