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Jibber-Jabber: Here's hoping for a speedy Lance recovery

A good hearty recovery for Mr. Lance McAlister. Super sports radio personality Lance McAlister is recovering after he went to the emergency room on Tuesday. A "few minutes later, his heart completely stopped." McAlister went under the knife to install a "pacemaker/defibrillator that will shock his heart if it ever stops again". McAlister jokes on his blog earlier in the week, "I'm debating if watching the Bengals game is a good thing, because of my condition." His return is already on the fact track. Here's hoping for a continued speedy recovery.

I'm not pessimistic, you're pessimistic. Watching a Marvin Lewis press conference defines the line between dreadfully boring and gut-busting amusement. It's moments like these that Chick Ludwig shines, forcing Marvin Lewis to fire back in annoyance with that "I'm only playin'" Marvin-giggle. You just know that Lewis walks from the press conference reciting the seven words you can't say on television. That is if you can get past the uncomfortable silence between questions, like panicking through your mind for a conversation starter on a first date with sweaty palms and fingernail biting nervousness.

While it wasn't Chick that prompted the follow up question of Palmer's positively changing status (meaning he's getting better), one reporter said that Lewis seems more optimistic about Palmer's health. To which Lewis responds, "I've always been optimistic about it. I think you guys are the ones always pessimistic." In other words, shut up, sit down. If you watched the video, he comes off light, a slight Marvin-giggle until another follow up is asked about Palmer status for Baltimore (which is out, without actually saying out). We're not criticizing Lewis here, but they are entertaining.

Chatty Chats about Chad, while Chad is chatty-less. Chad's Friday? Go to clubhouse, get some treatment, go home. ESPN's Friday? Talk all day about Chad Johnson. Asked the question of what happens next, it should be abundently clear. Well, nothing. Lewis' presser simply blew off what happened this week, concluding that Chad will be fined and that's that. What do you think he's going to say anyway? "Yes, Chad pissed me off again. I'm going to take my belt, spank him for 15 minutes, trade him for nine first-round draft picks, then we're dropping Chris Henry on an island so Mike Brown can't find him." Gives you chills, doesn't it? In truth, nothing will happen, save for an injury that could keep him out for the entire year if the team wants to keep any on-going soap opera quiet.

Thinking in terms of lists, I would add Johnson's no-trade as one of the biggest front office blunders in the past five years (if we list past ten years, the server crashes and SB Nation isn't happy with Cincy Jungle). Others include extensions for Willie Anderson and Levi Jones and terminating negotiations with Eric Steinbach. It's an exclusive list with its only qualification being that you hated the move instantly; draft picks do not apply, which are hindsight items.

Praise for your FBI, for PBS is safe from evil intentions. Cincinnati residents still verbally protest the sales tax that built GAB and PBS, because they've severely under-performed with uncaring ideals of building a championship-caliber team, which is adding financial strain to the county. Considering the declining economy, the Hamilton County Commissioner is liberally brainstorming shutting the county government down for a week, reducing pay periods from 26 weeks to 24 weeks, in an effort to prevent layoffs upward to 500 people. It's just an idea, not an actual proposal. As long as AIG has their vacation money, gift wrapped by the federal government. Right? It also creates a bigger divide when athletes keep getting pay raises, while most of us struggle. I'm seriously off topic.

The FBI on Friday arrested Frederick Purvis of Hamilton County who "threatened to blow up Cincinnati's football stadium, two airports, Ohio River bridges, and other landmarks." His primary charge is making "e-mail threats to blow up the Denver airport."

Two Angry Guys. One Angry Guy. No Angry Guys. Two Angry Guys. One Angry Guy. The Two Angry Guys were one of my favorite sports radio shows when they popped, shouted, and argued on the Homer. In 2006 they split up when Tom Gamble left the morning show to temporarily fill the 6 p.m. Sports Talk slot on WLW between Andy Furman and Paul Daugherty. Later, Skinner was fired because of bad ratings, eventually replaced by Alan Cutler.

The Two Angry Guys teamed up again on PowerTalk 96.5 (or whatever its called). Mixed with sports and politics, while playing music, was a terrible injustice to their original format that I stopped listening after a week. So 96 Rock (or whatever its called) laid off Richard Skinner earlier this month after the parent company decided to make massive nationwide cuts to save money during the declining economy. They're making an effort to align someone else with Gamble. Whatever. I've always enjoyed the two-person sports broadcast, where two guys can banter about dissenting opinion. In that format, they were the best in Homer.