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Giant Oil Spill Says Chad Johnson Will Play Football in 2008

After it was reported through an unnamed source that Chad Johnson would sit out 2008 if he weren't traded, his agent corrected things. The giant oil spill said of his client:

"Chad Johnson will play football in 2008," Rosenhaus told the Cincinnati Enquirer on Sunday. But when asked if he'll be playing for the Bengals next season, Rosenhaus was noncommittal. "Our plan is for Chad Johnson to play football in 2008," Rosenhaus told the newspaper. "That is how I will respond to the report."

Good for Chad. I wouldn't want him to sit out and miss millions while complaining about making millions. That would just be awful. I was close to reuniting with my old vices because the pain and sorrow I felt for Chad, his plight, his struggles in his adult life, was just too much. I'm glad his agent -- that guy, the one holding onto Chad's leash -- explained that Chad would be playing football. Where? Well, sadly, the agent hasn't a clue.

But I'm thrilled that Chad will play football in 2008. No, really.