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Bengals should donate Johnson's missed checks to charity

UPDATE II: Even his boy, T.J. Houshmandzadeh agrees that the Bengals should trade the prima donna. Sure, he could be saying that simply to help out his friend. Though we wonder. Houshmandzadeh knows prima enough, probably has heard his rants during the off-season, generally thinking that prima will be a distraction. Which I think we all generally agree with. When Palmer said that Chad will be there, prima freaked. T.J. says "I think eventually he'll show up, but then you have to worry about how much of a distraction he'll be." We'll see if prima reacts the same way with T.J. And we'll see if Chad will put his mouth will his, well, we'll just see.

UPDATE: In their latest, the Pro Football Talk guys question Mark Curnutte's constant reminder that the team can't afford $8 million in dead money. We contend that it would be Mike Brown's wet dream to lose $8 million in cap (i.e., pocketing) but agree with PFT that the dead money is a way to get fans to agree to hate Johnson while supporting the team for not cutting him -- at least just yet -- to keep fire breathing Bengals fans off their back.

Bengals Nation Daily agrees with us -- Johnson is the team idiot.
Bleacher Report to Johnson: Just Shut-up Already

ORIGINAL: The Pro Football Talk guys call him Ocho Stinko. A caller in Alan Cutler's morning radio show called him Ocho Psycho. Carson Palmer said that Ocho Tardo will be at mandatory functions. Tardo is calling Palmer a liar.

"I want to make this very clear,'' Johnson told Clayton in a story now posted on the ESPN Web site. "I don't know where he got that. I made no assertion to Carson that I would do that. Nothing has changed from what I've been saying for three months that I don't want to play for the Bengals. … I want to be traded before the draft, and if that doesn't happen, I want to be traded as soon as possible. I don't intend on reporting to anything."

Sorry Chad, but your dung stinks. We like Palmer's dung. In other words, I believe Palmer and honestly care little of what you think or say. In fact, when you talk, I get this nauseating migraine that doesn't go away until Will Farrell pounds that cowbell.

Johnson has played every excuse he can think of, from being "dissed" by head coach Marvin Lewis to demanding more money. We actually don't know anymore, he just wants to be traded. Lewis is tired of talking about it. Fans just want him gone -- he's a prime example of when God gives players physical abilities but does a Homer Simpson "d'oh" realizing that the mind will be like purgatory in an elementary rotisserie oven.

But I have to admit, I haven't heard anyone feel so sorry for themselves, forgoing $250,000 roster bonuses while guys like Eric Henderson donate footballs to a charity event in honor of the two fallen Colerain firefighters. Maybe one day Chad will stop stroking himself in the mirror long enough that he can go unsung and help others without the requirement that it be known to the entire world.

And a small suggestion to the team. Not only should they keep him and sit him, ala, Terrell Owens and the Eagles, but each bonus and game check missed, the Bengals should donate that to charity.