According to everyone with a science degree that ends with "ology", the moon is actually moving away from the planet Earth (the location you're currently at) at 4.5 cm/year to 5.6 cm/year. While the reasoning for it varies between gravity and Chuck Norris, the truth is, scientific studies conducted by leading researchers who have yet to determine the phenomenon known as munchies, believe that the moon is pushing outward with each impact by former Bengals fullback Chris Pressley. Is that a ten on the corny sentence scale or what?
Ah, yes. Chris Pressley. A Hard Knocks favorite competing with Jeremi Johnson and Fui Vakapuna. J.D. Runnels too, if you want to get all technical. Considering that the Bengals favored old fat out of shape fullbacks that needed 2-3 weeks during Training Camp just to get back into shape over lean fullbacks who wear glasses adding to the overall mythology of Pressley, the Bengals elected to go with Johnson. While the move wasn't that bad of an idea, going with a fullback that was once considered one of the tops at his position, the Bengals lost sight beyond 2009 with fullbacks.
Consider that Pressley was signed off the Bengals practice squad by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The team had long released Vakapuna, who would eventually be signed off Arizona's practice squad and onto the Bengals 53-man roster, playing exactly ZERO games. When this offseason rolled around, Johnson retired knowing the awesome truth that eating Wheat Thins with Chocolate sprinkles is so bad ass and Vakapuna was basically awarded the starting job without much competition. Vakapuna was hurt, Joe Tronzo was given some time and the Bengals solution to the fullback problem was a linebacker and a couple of tight ends.
Seriously, that was their solution.
Though the two may be totally unrelated, the Bengals rushing offense is nothing like it was last year. Through the first six games last year, the Bengals offense surpassed 100 yards four times. This year, it's happened twice. Through the first six games last year, the Bengals rushing offense averaged over four yards a carry. This year, it's happened twice.
In the end, the Bengals know that they need a fullback. A natural fullback and not some batshit crazy Samoan that runs through precut drywall on YouTube.
According to Geoff Hobson, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers have been trying to trade Pressley "to the Bengals for the last six weeks or so, but Cincinnati anticipated they’d cut him and held off." The Buccaneers released Pressley on Saturday.
Hobson doesn't anticipate the Bengals signing Pressley immediately, writing that "the coaches have been talking about their comfort level with using tight ends that know the system in the fullback spot, it doesn’t look like it would be a lightning transaction."
(h/t to TennBengalfan)