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NFL Poll: Prilosec Victory of the Week

This post is sponsored by Prilosec.

It's bad enough that the Cleveland Browns beat the Cincinnati Bengals. How can any red-blooded man or woman feel that using Brownie The Elf actually was a good idea. I mean, look at it. Call it an elf, it looks like a damned fairy.

What's worse is having to deal with coworkers in a city that tends to favor the Browns slightly more than the Bengals, craving to return to a cave I was once trapped in that was the home of man-sized bats, last seen on SyFy's original corny movie marathon.

Yes, yes. You won, I ignore my coworkers. Unfortunately for you, my unfortunate coworkers, I have the power to install a virus on your computer that will flip the desktop upside down, spike your speakers with totally inappropriate Korean phrases, forcing you to go to extreme lengths to maintain your dignity. They're learning though. I didn't even have to do it more than 15 times. Then again, I can't completely blame them. They are, after all, cheering for a team that's long taken over Cincinnati's role as cellar dwellers in the division. Beating a division champion from the year before, after going winless through three games, is a big deal.

Such a big deal that one of the six nominations for the Prilosec Victory of the week is Cleveland's win over Cincinnati. Also nominated this week is Jacksonville's win over the Indianapolis Colts, Donovan McNabb's win over the Philadelphia Eagles, the Ravens over the Steelers, the Patriots over the Dolphins and the Broncos over the Titans.

Vote for this week's Prilosec Victory of the Week -- remember, if you don't vote, my children starve and a puppy dies.