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Where's My Controversy, Darn It?

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Well, okey-dokey, then. The Cincinnati Bengals held their first mandatory minicamp practice today...and nothing happened!

By which I mean, everyone who was supposed to show up did, everyone looked OK, and they'll do it again tomorrow.

Sucks, doesn't it? Here we all are waiting for fireworks between Chad Ochocinco and Carson Palmer, or a devastating broadside from coach Marvin Lewis or, oh, I dunno, maybe some disgruntled players or someone turning down $7 million a year because it's not enough.

Instead, what do we get? Borrrr-ing.

Cmon, Cincinnati, where's the action? Where are the run-ins with the law, the players who won't play for the head coach or who would rather be flipping burgers? Where's the guy screaming for a trade, or the unhappy-with-his-contract camper? The best you can muster this year is the disappointing first-round pick from last year?

Lame.

Darned Bengals can't even whip up a good controversy these days. It's all about winning and professionalism and all that crap that should have no place in Cincy. That's not what we're about. We're about incompetent management and failed drafts and free agent busts and players who'd rather be anywhere else than the Siberia of the NFL.

The Bengals can't even do wrong right any more. What's the world coming to?