clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Bengals Fan Selling His Fan Allegiance On eBay

New, comments

If you buy something from an SB Nation link, Vox Media may earn a commission. See our ethics statement.

Sure, it's rough being a Bengals fan. We hope. We watch. We buy. We get depressed. We get angry. And then we just give up. At least until the following season when it all begins with hope once again. Most of us are battle-hardened warriors that pump our chests with our proud Bengals allegiances while others merely duck and cover from the indefensible abuse from fans of other teams; they are like our little brothers. We'll still protect them.

Some fans just bail completely. Hey, we hate to see you go, but really, can we absolutely blame people for leaving? Just don't come back when the team starts winning again, or else you'll be labeled as a bandwagon fan. And the effort to fend off insults for jumping ship will be nothing like the feeling you'll have for abandoning your brethren at a time in need.

Except for one fan, who is straight up selling his fan allegiance on eBay.

Where do I begin? I'm 28 years old born and raised in the worst NFL City in the history of the league. Cincinnati - home of the Bungals. I have a wife and 2 children, live the normal life own a home work 40 hours a week. I have cheered my whole life for the Bengals, but cannot continue to support an organization that simply doesn't care about winning and is only in this league due to financial reasons. We have the worst owner in the history of sports. His dad was a good man and won some games for the city of Cincinnati. I guess that is a good enough reason to continue to torture a city and a die-hard fan like myself. Well I have come to the conclusion that I will not suffer anymore. I'm looking for bids to become a fan of your city's NFL team.

Ingenious. Right?

Wrong. Bringing attention to yourself by jumping ship couldn't be more embarrassing to one's self. It's one step beyond a three-year old stomping around the living room after being refused dessert because you didn't eat the god awful green stuff on your plate. I feel you, three-year old. Green stuff is the color of vomit and according to Adam Schefter's sources, vomit is bad.

And you have to feel sorry for the fans that have to welcome this guy. Not only do you have to purchase all of his gear for him, like someone unsure if they should buy that book so he forever borrows it from the library, but after a few frustrating seasons, his arse could be right back on eBay looking for a new team. Do you, buyer of fan looking for new team, really want to make that commitment for someone that's going to burn you the first chance he gets.

So here's the final message we have for our departing Bengals fan.