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Bengals Banter: A Look Into The Soul Of Fans, God, And Scary People

We're looking for ideas for our offseason posts that rambles and talks about nothing in particular. They were once called The Daily Banter. We thought about Jungle Fever but then realized we'd probably get our asses kicked. Then we thought Roaring R'Awesome. That didn't improve our fear of having our skulls crushed into the side of the nearest building. So we need your help. If you have a really cool name for us to use for banter posts like the one that follows, email me.

SELLING YOUR ALLEGIANCE UPDATE : Even though most of you find it troubling that a so-called fan would sell his allegiance to the highest bidder, the actual seller is going to be rewarded for his betrayal. As of this posting (roughly 9:36AM on the East Coast on 1.11.2001), the bid is currently at $610 with the Pittsburgh Steelers in the lead. Kind of telling, isn't it?

Either way, the seller's name is Brett Kostoff and wrote to ESPN's AFC North blog:

James, I thought you might be interested in this story. I am selling my Bengals allegiance to the highest bidder on Ebay. I can't take it anymore!

To which James Walker responds, "I'm not sure what to say about that, other than I always encourage fans to stick by their teams." At this point, Brett realizes the attention he's getting and writes back to James:

"Well, I've had well over 2,000 hits in two days and 25 people are watching," Kostoff said. "Currently, the Chicago Bears are in the lead. ...With that said this thing doesn't do me much good if only Bengals fans read it. I need all NFL fans to read it so I get a fair shake on what team. Anything you can do to help, I would really appreciate it. Thank you!”

At this point, I'm not sure if this is a former Bengals fan or Chad Ochocinco. Not that it matters. Mo Egger says:

OK, I get it. Rooting for the Bengals is hard. It's an emotionally and financially unrewarding investment that hardly ever pays dividends. It causes pain, anguish, heartache, scorn, and incessant mocking from fans fortunate enough to have picked another team to spend their lives rooting for.

But you know what? Tough.

What would be funny is new-fan-of-new team changes his allegiance and the team he picks, doesn't make the playoffs for at least 2-3 years. Even Steve Bartman would feel sorry for the guy.

QUESTION OF SANITY: Sitting on an uncomfortable metal chair with no cushioning inside an abandoned warehouse with your hands tied behind you back, a single light bulb swaying in the middle of the room and the constant drip of water (at least you think it's water) leaking behind you, if questioned, who would you want to win this weekend's AFC North rematch? The Pittsburgh Steelers or the Baltimore Ravens?


Two teams have failed to produce a Pro Bowl player in their last seven drafts. And they are?less than a minute ago via web

Of course, Gollum would call Joe tricksy because the obviousness of half of the answers bites you like a totally awesome girlfriend. Let's go through all of the Pro Bowl players dating back to 2004.

Player Pro Bowls Drafted
Chad Ochocinco 6 2001
T.J. Houshmandzadeh 1 2001
Willie Anderson 4 1996
Carson Palmer 2 2003
Deltha O'Neal 1 FA Signing
Shayne Graham 1 FA Signing
Tory James 1 FA Signing
Rudi Johnson 1 2001

Now the question is, can you guess the other team that didn't draft any Pro Bowl players in the past seven drafts? I'll give you a clue. They are owned by this...

Leading scientists say that he's actually smiling.

DON'T SHOUT WHO DEY WHEN THEY SAY 'ACTION': George Clooney's newest film, the Ides of March, is calling for hundreds of extras in Cincinnati on a film that will take place in 26 locations around Cincinnati in February and March. Then again, Bengals fans need not apply. I'm pretty sure the Director doesn't need 20 anonymous shouts of Who Dey just after saying action.

YOU STILL GET PAID IF YOU DON'T PLAY. Outside linebacker Shawne Merriman played exactly zero snaps for the the Buffalo Bills in 2010 and has only played in 18 games of a possible 48 games in the past three seasons. So the obvious reaction to a guy that has more durability issues than Elijah Price is signing him to a two-year with at least $3 million guaranteed in 2011 with a base salary of $4.25 million.

DO YOU STAY OR DO YOU GO? Most of you will sit back comfortably with your big screen HD TV, with your own kitchen nearby and a bathroom just around the corner during this weekend's NFL Division playoff games. Others will spend the average price of $342 for one ticket to deal with parking headaches, massive lines everywhere you go. Sure, the playoff atmosphere is awesome; most of us know that. But sitting at home with your wife beater, cheap beer and torn boxers is pretty comfortable too.