Two First Round Picks Next April? May Heaven Help the Cincinnati Bengals

So, are you ready for some draft talk?

It's funny, in all too many years, draft talk was all we had by now. The 0-and-whatever Bengals would already be shutting it down for the season, the fan base would be busy grilling filet of Brown and Paul Daugherty would be groaning about another death march and offering to rake people's lawns. Death, taxes, Bengals draft talk in October: the three sure things in life.

This year, happily, appeared to be one of those magical years in which playoffs, not draft, possibilities were still the subject of conversation before Halloween. Alas, at some point in the last few days, Cincinnati Bengals owner Mike Brown decided (just to mess with the guys at WDR, I'm sure) to play GM for a day and traded disgruntled QB Carson Palmer to the Oakland Raiders for a king's ransom in draft picks.

And so here we are. What the heck are we going to do with two first-round picks next April?

(Cue the chorus: f**k 'em up, what else?)

Hey, you guys shut up! And watch the language, this is a family site and all that sh*t. Since I don't pay much attention to college football -- I play Dungeons & Dragons on Saturdays: Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, old-school, 1st edition, paper-and-pencil-if-you-don't-die-12-times-before-making-second-level-your-dungeon-master-is-Monty-Haul-hardcore-nerd-D&D -- I figured I'd tour the usual suspects and see what the consensus was.

(Dude, you have heard of WoW, right? Get a real game.)

Oh, shut up. Over at the Great Blue North, they've got their first-round projection up adjusted for the Palmer trade. At this point, Cincinnati holds the 20th and 22nd picks, and GBN mocks OG Cordy Glenn (Georgia) and LB Vontaze Burfict (Arizona State) to the Bengals.

The (on) crack staff here at SBN's Mocking the Draft have Glenn as the second-best guard prospect as of last month. And certainly, the interior of the offensive line is a huge area of need for the Bengals. LG Nate Livings has been inconsistent and is primarily a run-blocker, while RG Bobbie Williams is roughly 1,987,667 years old and though he should be commended for his dedication NFL sources say the real reason he was suspended for four games was that they thought he was one of the walking dead. 2011 draft pick Clint Boling may be able to mount a challenge to Livings at LG next year, but in any event the Bengals need interior o-line help.

(Um, we have a B. Williams on line one...he sounds pissed....)

Hi! This is Sunny Sparkles, CJ's newest author, continuing with today's examination of the 2012 draft! Yay Bengals! Who-Dey! They are so dreamy, especially that Bobbie Williams! He's so cute!!! But enough about my needs: SBN's draft experts who are clearly sober, expert, professional voices of absolute reason who could kick Mel Kiper's a** any day...

(Really? you're a bigger rhymes-with-wussy than Carson Palmer.)

...say Burfict is a problematic choice. More than that, he's an MLB, and we have a guy in Rey Maualuga who has been been rapidly improving at that spot over the short span of the season so far. Rey has been sidelined with an ankle sprain but there's no reason to think the Bengals will be looking at the MLB spot any time soon. That said, it's no secret that Marvin Lewis loves him some linebackers, so you never know.

(Excuse me, Ms. Sparkles, but there's a Mr. Williams here to see you and he doesn't look happy)

Oops...gotta go...in the meantime enjoy this Andy Dalton video!