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Bengals Owner Mike Brown Calls Carson Palmer's Retirement Bluff

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There's a magical land that exists somewhere between the shadowy ether of this world and the next; where Carson Palmer is still planning on being a Bengal, where the draft picks of the Brown era have been successful, and where the Care Bears float on clouds shooting rainbow beams of love out of their stomachs.

The place is called Mike Brown Island, and indeed, it must be a very lonely place to be.

Reports are resurfacing saying that Mike Brown still thinks that Carson Palmer will be a Bengal in the 2011 season. Clark Judge of CBS Sports writes,

Sources confirmed the Bengals won't consider dealing Palmer this year -- that is, after they're allowed to make trades -- and probably wouldn't for at least a year, maybe longer. That's because Brown OKs the deals, and he's not convinced Palmer is leaving.

Frankly, everybody is a little tired of the endless poker game that Mike Brown seems to embroil himself in. If he's not holding out on rookie contracts like Andre Smith, or letting key cogs to the offense like T.J. Houshmandzadeh walk out the front door for a measly million dollars, then he's probably sitting on his island counting his fortune in one dollar increments -- because it's more satisfying that way.

The rest of the world - those of us who are paying attention to the Carson Palmer trade demands at least - is able to read the writing that's been on the wall for a long time: Carson Palmer is going to retire before he puts on a Bengal uniform again. Marvin Lewis is moving on, Palmer's house is on the market, all the talking heads all say he's serious,  and Chloe the psychic and that octopus that predicted the World Cup have both agreed that Palmer has made up his mind.

Don't worry about Mike Brown though. You might think he's lonely on that island, but he's got Wilson to keep him company - not to mention plenty of green to count.