Ladies and gentlemens, grab yerself a pint and prepare yerselves fer the fynest story of a cock and a bull yev ever 'eard!
Word is, Chad Ochocinco has lined up a new stunt. Having moved past his infatuation with becoming a professional soccer player, Ochocinco's now gonna ride a bull.
The Professional Bull Riders organization has challenged Ochocinco to hop on the back of one of the 1,700 pound bucking bulls at the Lucas Oil Invitational this weekend at the Gwinnett Center in Duluth, GA. The happening is another product of the Twitter phenomenon, with the PBR throwing down the gaunlet after some tweets by Ochocinco about a showdown with PBR star Valdiron de Oliveira. Sean Gleason, chief operating officer of the PBR, responded to the mock-bravado by extending the challenge:
@ochocinco @rosenhaussports PBR isn't soccer! Sign the waiver and post a big enough bond and we'll put you on an exhibition bull. @teampbr
Chad's deeply metaphysical response:
@teampbr The real question is not how long I can last on the bull but how long the bull can last with me riding him or her #pause kind sir
Not sure what any of that means, unless he intends to whine and plead with the bull for hours to throw him the damn ball. Anyway, after some back and forth between the two things shook out like this: the Ocho will make 10 grand for getting on the bull. If he is able to stay on the sucker for the required eight second the PBR and Ford will give him an F-150 and the right to rename the animal. If Chad doesn't show to the event, the PBR will christen the bull "#58 No Show Cinco" (who knew those bull ridin' folk were so clever?).
For his part, Gleason isn't convinced Chad will go through with it.
Gleason says Ochocinco is "a gifted athlete, but bull riding is a much different sport and climbing on the back of a bull in the chutes takes a little more than Twitter confidence, let alone calling for the gate (to open)."
In case you've forgotten, this isn't Chad's first animal adventure. Back in 2007 he rigged a race against a horse named Restore the Roar. Back then, Chad said he hoped the race would "jump start his side career in doing sporting stunts for charity." Presumably Chad will give his bull-riding money to charity and he says he'll give the truck to a fan. The only thing to say here, really, is:
Chad, I love you, dawg. You made Carson's career. You're the greatest entertainer ever. I'm your biggest fan!