We don't condone fighting between two professional adults. That being said, we totally love watching fights between two professional adults. And by professional, we mean athletes. Look at the ratings. MMA is at its peak in popularity (which keeps growing) and while boxing has lost its following, it's still enjoyable -- if enjoyable really only means watching Manny Pacquiao. That being said, ESPN's James Walker provides an AFC North fighting card that includes Ed Reed vs. Colt McCoy. I mean, really. Peyton Hillis vs. James Harrison. Hillis wins simply by throwing a big shiny red ball down the sidewalk, which totally consumes Harrison for hours.
What's shocking is James Walker pronouncement that Chad Ochocinco, filled with elite-level boxing skills because he trained a couple of times in the ring would knock Marvin Lewis out in 1.5 seconds. What's not added into Walker's thought-provoking and light-hearted conclusion includes varying factors such as Ochocinco, who loses sight of the first down marker sometimes, totally misjudging the distance between himself and Lewis. Chad Ochocinco, who tends to drop more passes as he ages, swings at Lewis and misses.
Lewis, who has misplaced his challenge flag on more than one occasion, forgets his boxing gloves. That's perfectly fine. Lewis blows snot out of one nostril (which absolutely disgusts Chad to near submission) into his hands and smiles at Chad. Then squeezing closed his fists, Lewis waves his bare mitts. Deep in Lewis' confident mind he'll have no trouble with Chad because the head coach practiced inside an indoor practice facility that Mike Brown named, "We-Seriously-Have-To-Pay-For-This Field."
A little unnerved by the scene and recent events, Chad looks at the crowd, examining the front row where Ray Lewis, Denzel Washington, Drew Rosenhaus, Captain Price (CoD) and a bull drinking earl grey tea (hot) are all sitting. Like a Cincinnati-sized summer storm that explodes off to Chad's side, Lewis does his belly laugh. Antagonizing Chad to approach the bare knuckle head coach, Lewis starts winding up his arm in the deadly windmill of doom. Chad looks at Ray Lewis, who just does his "my shit don't stink" head nod, Rosenhaus who empties his third bottle of moose and the Bull, who raises his cup of tea in salute saying "g'luck mate."
See. Now if Walker would have added these factors into the equation, we're not sure if one could so quickly claim a knockout in 1.5 seconds. But we're kind of bored and a little off our game.