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Bengals Early Bird Special

Good morning everyone! I hope everyone made it through Monday in one piece.

As I started writing this I started thinking to myself about how the Bengals had difficulties selling tickets last season which resulted in numerous blackouts. Well I came up with a way for ticket sales to be improved. And my solution is have a giveaway with every game. I mean who in their right mind would decline something that's free? No one, that's who. And here are some of the giveaways that I came up with.

  1. Replica Super Bowl trophies from Super Bowl XVI and XXIII. In this case you get air since the Bengals have yet to win one.
  2. Autographed photos of Mike Brown. This would be a great way to relieve stress because you can hang it on your wall and throw darts at it all day. Or you could grab a paintball gun, take aim, and fire.
  3. A poster of Mike Brown with the caption "What went wrong with the Bengals?" above his head. At the bottom it would read: "The answer: Mike Brown."
  4. A voucher for two free containers of popcorn that are good for that game only. Wait, didn't they try something similar to that only it was for season ticket holders? This time you'll receive twice as many as the original promotion. And maybe throw in two free beers as well.
  5. For one game the Bengals will treat fans to a dance-off between Ickey Woods and Chad Ochocincoto see which player has the best touchdown celebration. And Ickey wins because Chad decided to skip town due to being intimidated by Woods' performance.
  6. A bobblehead giveaway. But this bobblehead isn't of any of the players or coaches. Instead it's a bobblehead of the Bengals mascot Who Dey the tiger. Can't go wrong there.
  7. A promotion where one lucky fan will be selected at random to be the honorary quarterback for the game. The Bengals decided that Andy Dalton needed to learn the system before he plays. Carson Palmerhas been traded to the Winnipeg Seawolves. Jordan Palmer was replaced in favor of the water boy. And Dan LeFevour fell off the face of the earth some how.
  8. And finally punching bags that come with Fathead images of all Bengals players, coaches, and Mike Brown. You can put any face on the bag and change them whenever you desire to. You can punch away once that particular someone has caused you to erupt.

Alright here's what you may have missed or overlooked from Monday.

  • According to Pro Football Focus,Robert Geathers is one of the worst pass rushers in the league. Well, that's disappointing to hear considering the Bengals signed him to that six-year deal and two years remain on it. Maybe Geathers will step it up for the final two years to prove the contract wasn't a waste.
  • The months of March, April, May, and June have all been disposable. However, July is a key month for the NFL because that's when training camp is suppose to start. Just end this game of chicken so us fans can have something to watch in the Fall. And it will give us here at Cincy Jungle something to write about!
  • Jason Garrison presents a different scenario for the Bengals at cornerback.
  • Johnathan Joseph could be a top target for the Houston Texans once the lockout is lifted and player transactions are permitted again. I hope Joseph is the Bengals top priority once the lockout is lifted. That's just me though.
  • The most overrated and underrated players for the Bengals are named by senior write Pete Prisco of And truth be told, I actually agree with him on his selections.
  • Our very own Josh Kirkendall goes back to the future and examines the 1978 trade that sent both Lemar Parrish and Coy Bacon to the Washington Redskins for their first round pick in 1979.