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The Five People You Meet in Every Office: Bengals Edition -- Part One

If you've held more than one job in your life, especially for a large company, you know that every workplace basically has the same exact people working in it. Every office has a guy who hates his job, every office has a guy who sucks up to the boss way too much, every office has a boss that has no clue what he's doing and every office has a guy who does nothing -- like literally zero work -- and still somehow keeps his job.

If you look really closely, you realize that the Bengals are the same exact way. Like any company, the Bengals employ people that fit these roles perfectly.

Here are some examples:

The Intern:

The intern is that kid who shows up one Monday morning and works harder than everybody else in the office combined. He gets your coffee, he makes all the copies, he runs the errands and despite being crapped on by everybody above him (which is everybody), he somehow does it all with a smile on his face, all in the hopes of running the place someday.

The Intern Is......

Rookie quarterback Andy Dalton. He's going to be working harder than anybody on the team to prove that he can be the starting quarterback, when he does prove himself, he's not going to see a lot of success and he'll probably get a lot of crap for it. He probably knows this coming in and if he's smart, he'll be prepared for it. If he works hard and he keeps his head on straight, he can one day "run this place."

The Guy Who Should Have Been Fired Years Ago:

This guy is the bane of your very existence. As a person with goals and an annoying need to eat, you work hard for your money. This guy shows up late and leaves early and in the middle of arriving and leaving, he does nothing but take one too many breaks. Even though he has probably never done anything to you to make you personally hate him, you can't help from hoping terrible things happen to him. Of course nothing ever does.

The Guy Who Should Have Been Fired Years Ago is......

Offensive tackle Andre Smith. Look at it this way, if this guy had done the same thing at your workplace that he has done for the Bengals, would he still have a job? I know there are a lot of you that are saying hells to the no. There's no denying that this guy has a boat load of fat natural talent, but natural talent doesn't do much for a team when you can't make it on the field. If Smith were the smartest and most talented lawyer in the country, he still wouldn't win many cases if he never showed up to court.

Hopefully this year will be different, but for right now, one has to wonder if Smith could keep a job outside of football.

The Eff This Job Guy:

The eff this job guy is the guy who promises every friday that he's going to quit and/or burn the building to the ground and he's the same guy who shows up every Monday. He hates his job and he lets you, and everybody else in the office know about it. His negativity will literally make you physically ill if you stand next to him for more than three minutes and you constantly look over your back and peer over your cubicle walls to make sure he doesn't show up to work with a shotgun.

The Eff This Job Guy is.......

Well this could really go to a bunch of people. Former Bengals players, including Boomer Esiason could fall into this category. More recently, Chad Ochocinco and Terrell Owens complained about the coaching staff. But, the best example of the Eff This Job Guy is obviously former quarterback Carson Palmer. Even though when he said "eff this job" he meant it, I'm sure he had probably been contemplating this idea for some time. He may have never said how much he hated his job in the locker room, but I'm sure if you asked some of the players that were close to them, they'd say that they could have seen this coming.