Ndamukong Suh to the Bengals is interesting... but yeah, unlikely

(eye roll)

ESPN strung together the most unlikeliest of trade scenarios, sending Patriots quarterback Tom Brady to Houston, Eagles running back LeSean McCoy to Oakland and Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch to San Diego. One idea is to send Ndamukong Suh to the Cincinnati Bengals, in exchange for a second-round pick and cornerback Darqueze Dennard.

The Bengals, meanwhile, think they're close to a Super Bowl. But lately, being close hasn't been enough. The famously frugal franchise is feeling the heat after going 0-for-3 in the postseason the past three years (FYI, they allowed 77 points in those three games). Cincinnati hasn't won a playoff game in 24 years (remember the Ickey Shuffle?) and Suh could be the game-changer to fix that. Andy Dalton, Giovani Bernard and A.J. Green have the offense clicking, but the way the defense has been playing recently (107 combined points allowed to the New England Patriots, Carolina Panthers and Indianapolis Colts) leaves the Bengals desperate on that side of the ball.

"Clicking" is not a word that I would use to describe an offense that was held to 135 yards, eight first downs and one-of-13 on third down against the Indianapolis Colts.

It's understandable, to be honest. The article... not Cincinnati's offensive wizardry. The NFL trading deadline is usually a quiet event that comes and goes without much entertainment. In order to make it interesting, we devise impossible scenarios. For example, Cincinnati won't give up a second rounder and Dennard for a one-year rental of Suh, whose contract is voided five days after this season's Super Bowl. Detroit can apply the franchise tag, but it'll cost them $20 million.

And if Cincinnati signs him to a new deal/extension, then you have to factor how that impacts A.J. Green, who is signed through 2015 and can be franchised for the 2016 season.

Wait, I'm entertaining this. Suh... and a healthy Geno Atkins. Ohmygod.

Nope. Nevermind. Move along.